TNN XMAS EDITION
Hello folks, as promised, this is TNN’s Special Christmas Edition, live from our studios in sunny TnT, bringing you the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and atmosphere of Christmas in the Southern Caribbean.. sooooo, wit' dat intro., leh we go…MUSSICCCC… !
Leroy…. !
Wey yuh mudder gone.. ?….
NICE LIME....
Well alyuh know de Cobra like he parang, so wey yuh t’ink ah fin’ mehself dis week… yes, man, Monday night self… up in the Northern Range in Paramin Village for de Parang Festival….oh ya yoi!
Look, if yuh see hill, boy… ! Even dem goat have four wheel drive…! Man have tuh park at de bottom of de hill an’ it have jeep an’ some brave taxi man shuttlin' yuh to de top… An’ col’!… When dat mountain air take yuh so, yuh hearin’ yuh bones doin’ ah percussion in yuh body…!
Ah reach kinda late (ah feel we have tuh invent ah time zone for Trinidad yuh know…if yuh say half past seven, at least show up AROUND seven thirty at least nah, have ah heart.. !).. anyway, when yuh reach de top, yuh have to walk dong to ah Savannah wey everyt’ing set up…sweet parang music fuh so…bands from all dong Siparia up dey…nice crowd, food in abundance an’ drink more in abundance… ol’ an’ young, dancin’, hand in air , people shoutin’ for de ban’, aie! aie!
De music compellin’ yuh tuh move.. ah even spot some tourists tryin’ tuh make some movements… well, maybe one day dey go learn (ah hope !). Meh fren warn meh... doh drink dat sieve soup, eh… when man drink dat up dey, dey doh come back dong de hill, yuh know…. so yuh boy jus’ cool it wit ah l’il beer and some wild meat.. yeah boy, somebody kill ah deer - dat went dong good…
Ah eh leave till after one o'clock, an’ den we had tuh walk dong de hill… meh calves nearly turn tuh cows, an fus dey swell from dat walk… An’ doh play yuh walkin’ dong dat hill standin’ up straight either papa…no sah, yuh have tuh lean backwards when yuh comin’ dong, odderwise yuh fallin’ an’ skatin’ on yuh face…whoever build dat road just follow de donkey track, because no engineer could build ah road wit’ dat kinda gradient an’ still keep he license…!
Den dong St. James for some jerk an’ ah lime in de square by de Police Station.. Yuh know yuh could ALWAYS get somet’ing tuh eat in St. James, no matter what time yuh pass… When ah reach home is nearly 4. Cock done get up an’ makin’ breakfast… ah nice cultural lime, man… an’ dis lime wasn’t sour ah could tell yuh….!
SCENES OF CHRISTMAS.....
Between you an’ me, ent Christmas does come on de same date every year… so how come it always have people runnin’ ‘bout wit’ shock faces going:
"Oh Lord, alyuh ah eh get meh curtains yet"
"Wait nah, ah forget to tell de fella tuh keep ah pork leg for mih… meh wife go kill meh!"
"Yuh eh decide what colour paint yuh want YET? Look las’ year Christmas Eve, de house smellin’ like ah paint mix, all de furniture move one-side, Frank want tuh know if we was movin’ out…an’ yuh eh know wether yuh want brown or cream…look what ever it have , ah buyin’ !"
Yuh know de t’ing, as if Christmas surprise we dis year.. Port of Spain is ah mess.. yuh boy is not ah shopper, an’ ah eh goin’ in no crowd unless it have music, drink an’ food! People all over de place, shoppin’ for wat ah doh know…. woman wit’ more bag dan Santa Claus, an’ de extra bags, de poor l’il chilren strainin’ tuh follow behin’….
Dem sidewalk vendors come out like woodlice, chookin’ toys, clothes, perfume, deyself, in yuh face.. police have ah fine time tryin’ tuh move dem.. is like ah lizard, yuh chop off de tail it grow ah new one… yuh chase dem from Frederick Street, dey pop up on Henry Street.. I-Man jus’ diggin’ de scene….
An’ if yuh see clothes for Old Year’s Party .. gown like Cinderalla.. an’ yuh boyfriend better be ah Prince tuh afford dem prices….! Me… I poor, humble an’ tryin’ not tuh grumble… Ah go read about dem in January, which bring meh tuh ah nex’ point.. yuh know people does get pay early for Christmas, well like dey eh realise is January pay dey really get, so dey have tuh go for de whole ah january wit’out ah cent… when de reality it dem, yuh does fin’ de passin’ by yuh often…because de ham an’ t’ing done, an’ it eh have nothin’ home to eat ! Trinis is de bes’ yes…!
But on top ah all dat, ah have tuh admit yuh getting’ de little spirit of de season, eh…..people tellin’ yuh "Good mornin'" (ah nearly drop dong in de taxi when somebody actually reply tuh meh greetin’.. an’ de store clerks an’ dem lose dey sour look an’ tellin’ yuh Merry Christmas, an’ t’anks an’ t’ing… yes man, is dat time again… !
A (TRINI) CHRISTMAS CAROL... (by de Cobra)
Well,
ah sure alyuh never hear de story how Santa spen’ Christmas in
Trinidad one year… lean back, take ah drink an’ listen….
Santa
finish ah little late dat Christmas Eve (de Trinidadian chilren was stayin’ up
late, as usual, an’ he couldn’t come until dey was sleepin’), so he decide
tuh get back tuh de North Pole. He say he would hook he sleigh to
BWIA since it had ah flight goin’ New York, an’ he woulda continue on from
dey…. of course Bwee cancel de flight (somet’ing about snow in de airport)
so Santa geh ketch because he couldna fly out since if daylight woulda ketch he,
people woulda see him (an’ he eh license he sleigh wit Aviation Authorities.. !).
So Santa decide he go have tuh stay de Christmas Day in Trinidad, so he
head for ah small village in de forest in de mountains, so he woulda arouse too
much suspicion an’ de deer had tuh fin’ cover….
Ay-
ay, after he lan’ , ah sleep take de man, an’ when he wake up one setta dog
surround he an’ he transport, an’ he hear ah fella bawl out …
"Boy! We lucky dis year.. is wild meat we eatin' dis Christmas!"
Well
Rudolph an’ de deer dem start tuh panic…! All of ah sudden yuh
hear ah old woman voice…