TNN OCTOBER 2002 ELECTION EDITION

Hello folks…an’ welcome again to we broadcast…(deep voice)…This Is TNN……  Hark! Hark! ..de dogs do bark..de thieves are comin’ to town…thieves in rags, thieves in drags…an’ some thieves in their velvet gowns….. (background music, Valentino)

Jumpstation: Exhale; Yuh know is election time in TnT when.

Well de society gave ah collective aaaaahhhhhhhh.. late las’ Monday night …. Finally de drama over…..we have ah winner!

After 9 months of deadlock an’ 18-18, we finally have ah winner…. PNM took it away 20-16.  Oh gorrrmmmm. Dat was pressah an’ speculation….. I decide me eh watchin’ no results come in, because dat is jus’ heart attack waitin’ to happen…….

De marginal seats (those dat swing and hold de balance of power) was close as usual… win by just over 600, win by just over 200, win by close to 400 …. an’ dis kinda see-saw t’ing, me eh have time wit’ dat ..…after 40 ballot boxes, somebody in front, after 43 ballot boxes, somebody else in front, after 47 ballot boxes the odder person leadin’ again… dat is jus’ stress….

So about 11:30 ah switch to de local stations an’ ah get de news…. Bas take in front before in front take he… he run out on de platform and say it look like 18-18 again an’ we go see what de President will do….. an’ call for people to unite against poverty, unemployment, crime, because dat is de real enemy, not de PNM… you coulda fool me.. 2 days before de PNM was goin’ to develop ah fascist state using espionage equipment to spy on people, corrupt the files of the Election and Boundaries Commission, look at people’s email, bank accounts, listen to phone call and make deal wit’ terrorists (Abu Bakr an’ he merry men) an’ take de country dong de road to Hell! Yep, not my words…I kid you not!

Dat is why ah have problems wit’ policticians, one minute somebody is ah demon, next minute “a worthy opponent” (after dey beat de crap out of dem, of course!)

Pathos, on de odder hand, besides the blunder wit’ de Muslimeem land deal, was for de most part tolerable…. I suspect de swing in de votes was due more to people rejecting what dey saw as corrution in de las’ administration, rather dan ah ringin’ endorsement for Pathos.. but yuh boy eh see dat yet… dey already have to widen de doorways of de PM’s residence to accommodate he head!

If yuh look at de voter turnout, de PNM got de largest no. of votes ever cast for a single party and increase de number of its votes by 55000 over 8 months.. de UNC increased by 4000.

So wit’ Bas at 69 and lookin’ at 70, he want to step out of politics…de ole horse cyah take it no more…. but de res’ ah dem still askin’ him to stay on….dem people wicked an’ bad..yuh have to stan’ on yuh own sometime…how long yuh go cling to Bas..?…

So on de political stage it appears dat dis was de Bas’ swan song, but leh we wait an’ see….remember Pathos at de helm an’ have ah way of aiming de ship of state to de nearest political reef!  When he decide to step dong, ah go write somet’ing…But more on dat later..

As regards de odder parties….like Kitchener sang in 1981.. “…not ah damn seat for dem..!”  NAR (Nah) get shaft in de only two seats dey contest…... Tobago.. beaten an’ spat upon……. after more dan 27 years of votin’ DAC an’ den NAR, Tobago finally voted again for PNM… dem people doh forget easy, yuh know..!  So NAR, Exit left!

De nex’ one was Citizen’s Alliance, led by Wendell Mottley… well, a motley crew indeed….. licks like fire, likes like peas..… another shark swimmin’ wit’ de sardines….dey get chew up bad, bad, bad!

Imagine Wendy decide to contest in ah PNM stronghold….he eh know what hit him….. he jus’ know he get hit… one of he odder colleagues actually get more vote dan him!  So take ah bow, Wendy, t’anks for comin… lack of money, etc., an’ de campaign never got off de ground.. it just swerve of de runway an’ end up in ah ditch…. no survivors…..

De DPTT (Democratic party of Trinidad and Tobago) was ah “also ran”….if yuh t’ink Citizen’s Alliance take licks, well, dem was de bobolee’s bobolee!  De whippin’ horse, de door mat… de democratic vote showed dey wasn’t even on de radar.. dey was flying too low.. ah doh t’ink dey even had ah public meetin’.. jus’ a car wit’ ah lodspeaker…. ah doh know who dem sponsor’s was (Aunty May Flower Shop, maybe…)….every man jack lose dey TT$5000 deposit……. best’ dey did put in de Unit Trust….. dey woulda still get interest on it…...because de population showed no interest in dem!

But ah have to admire dem odder two parties, at least dey try… men was sayin’ dat whoever win de election would have to deal wit’ dem, because dey woulda have de deciding seats..! (at de bar, maybe!)…… but in de stampede, dey get run over…. cockroach have no right in fowl party!

As he first step as PM, de PM start to appoint he Cabinet.. but already ah see some worm eaten wood in dat construction.. it have ah couple people dey, unless yuh take dey pulse, yuh eh too sure dey alive…  Ah hope he could last until at least de ink on meh finger rub off….. but dis is Pathos de Unfathomable….

I wouldn’t take any bets jus’ yet! But de journey now start… we had 9 months of uncertainty, wrangling, ole talk, division, constitutional crisis….. we need to take ah breather, hug up one anodder, regardless of who yuh vote for an’ start moving again…! Is one ship we on.. an’ ah doh want to see nobody punchin’ hole in it…!
 

For all ah alyuh who miss de election… lemme give yuh ah view of…
YUH KNOW IS ELECTION TIME IN TnT WHEN.....

Yuh see yuh MP… in person!

De grass on de roadside cut, so yuh could actually see yuh neighbour house from de road!

Yuh ears ringin’, because car wit’ loudspeaker playin’ music in yuh head every day…..!

Yuh cyah see de street sign because some #@%&$# put up ah “VOTE XXX” sign over it!

People startin’ to miss work, because dem was at “meeting” night before!

Politicians actually believe people takin’ dem on……

Half de newspaper is advertisement for party X or Y…..!

Parties dat start two months before de election campaign, sure dey go “make ah difference”…!

De road wit’ pothole dat de neighbourhood children coulda bathe in, suddenly smooth like ah baby bottom….!

De same die hard supporters on each side of de political spectrum exchanging ice when de motorcades passin’ each odder…. ( true Trinis!)

(Please note that all text on TNN.htm is copyrighted!  If you need to include any text from these articles in emails, kindly include a credit to TNN.htm -  http://www.kpresorts.com/tnt/tnn.htm)

Dat’s all for dis week folks… remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs etc…jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care, alyuh, ah gone…. Peace…..  Too much quacks an’ invalids, de kaiso boat overcrowded……….(background music, Chalkdust)