TNN 88
Hello folks… an’ welcome again to we broadcast… (deep voice)… This Is TNN…… ten to one is murder…! Ah say to mehself, dat was meh las’ supper….Ten to one is murder!… (Sparrow) …. (background music)
Jumpstation: We on kicks'; Leave now; Take dat "as if"; Partin' shot.
Apparently we two leadin’ players walk off de
national football team, some say because de coach tell dem dey eh playin’
because dey eh showin’ discipline….. de limin’ etc.., mashin’ up de team
spirit. But Latapy (Latas) did already say dat if dey did lose to de US
(which dey did!), dat dey wasn’t sure to come back, because it mean we cyah
make it to the World Cup again.
Well brudder, is ah storm of protest… man say
dem fellas ungrateful, dem feel dem is prima donnas, better dan de rest, dey eh
have no patriotism, like rats…. dey leavin’ de sinkin’ ship.
Even editorials knief dem… but some odders sayin’ dat T&T already
out of de World Cup, so is time for de fellas to see ‘bout dey careers,
because one t’ing certain… dey go never play ah World Cup now… in four
years time, dey go be too old. What
to do, what to do?
Ah tryin’ to take what yuh might call ah dispassionate look at de t’ing.. First , de way dey leave wasn’t de bes’ method….. Latas say he had a contract to sign in England, but end up partyin’ in Barbados; Yorke(shire?) we English pro, eh show up for practice an’ givin’ poor excuse….. basically dem fellas seem to be lazing around; den de fall out wit’ de coach (for de secon’ time in 2 matches) lead to dey resignations…Pressah!
Now as far as Latas concerned, dis fella for de las’ 11 years was one of de most committed players on de national team, yuh could depend on Latas to come from wherever an’ play ah full match (not as much Yorke-y!), so de sudden turn around in de las’ two games is ah bit surprsing.
Yorke already in trouble wit’ he club, an’ jus’ escape being benched for de las’ season, so he have some fish to fry, if yuh check meh drift.
Latas comin’ to de end of he career an’ have to see for heself….. but what ah fin’ is…. if yuh feel yuh cyah give yuh all to de team, merely say so an’ resign… doh lie, fall out wit’ de coach, miss match practice an’ all dat... jus' resign from de team and see ‘bout yuh business.
We cyah force dem fellas to play…nobody in
T&T go pay dem £40,000 or £124,000 ah month to play.
But after 12 years wit’ de team, ah t’ink we coulda finish off better
dan dat.. It leave ah bad taste in we mout, especially after de whole 1989
Strike Squad team, includin’ Latas and Yorke-y get national awards for dey
effort…. ah mean, yuh carryin’ an award from de country… show some
respect for de people.
Dem two fellas resigin’ from dat team is just de latest in a whole line of bad management…… an’ is more to be said dan to vex about… We suppose to be serious about sports, but like when it come to football, is like we on kicks!
Yuh know, I always amazed how we like to borrow t’ing from odder people, but have an uncanny ability to leave the good part behin'….
What ah talkin’ ‘bout now…. ah jus’ lookin’
at de Parliamentary system in de country….. especially Ministers… yuh
know how we like to say we have ah Westminster system of democracy wit’ all de
attendant trappings (dong to de Speaker wearin’ wig in blazing hot tropical
conditions?!). Well , it appears we
have completely truncated a part of de system, which is even stronger dan de
laws…. de principles…. yuh ever notice how whenever ah scandal bus’ out,
dat de relevant Minister does resign… Jus’ recently in England ah man
had to leave because he tell de Home Secretary dat ah fella who was applying for
citizenship is ah good fella.. he eh tell de man to grant, yuh know… but he
had to leave, because as far as dey concern he was POSSIBLY attempting to use he
ministerial links.. Consider we situation…..
Dey jus’ uncover ah multi million dollar
scandal in de Health system, blatant t’iefin’, robbery wit’ ah V
(vengeance)!, embezzlement, illegal contracting, ah really nasty scenario…. de
den chairman refuse to accept responsibility (he is ah Senator now!) an’
further… de minister of Health who presided over dis abuse of poor people,
smilin’ like ah Cheshire cat……! Not
ah thought of leavin’…..! Buh ay-ay…why?! Me eh do nothin’?
No damn honour ah tell you…..
De Airport gone over budget gone over by over $700M an’ it still eh finish….. de US downgrade de airport to a level 2 because it eh up to standard ($1.4 B later!)… in odder words, de ole airport was better dan de billion dollar new one…. De Minster of Transport laugh in people face an’ open it on de Prime Minister birthday, sayin’ all de nay-sayers was jus’ anti-government…
Ah suppose de US against dem too! Now Ministry of Health tell dem if dey eh get rid of de rats and flies (wait… is ah garbage dump we build?!) in one week’s time, is trouble in de pooch! De minister of Transport still sittin’ pretty…… Woman, what yuh waitin’ on?! Yuh fail! Yuh embarrass we! Time to go……!
We buildin’ ah North–South highway… over
$200M later, it have to be scrapped, beacsue de contractor dey give it to
use sub substandard material (we engineers couldn’t pick dat up!).. So
now dey tryin’ to do it on dey own…. De overpass dey was buildin’
in San Fernando.. de wall collapse before
dey even finish… De Tobago ferry break down, we have to get ah
replacement, up to now dey cyah find ah suitable boat… de den Minster of Works
eh even blink ah eyelid….. What he doin’ dey still?
Well, he is now Minister of Housin’.. ah sorry for whoever take dey life in
dey hands an’ live in anyt’ing he Ministry construct…
not ah resignation….
De AG allow dey Airport to be built, even though
he admit de contractin’ process was illegal……. he is still AG, an’
jus’ get elected to de post of Deputy Political Leader of de rulin’ party!
We decide every child goin’ to secondary
school, even if dey make zero in de exam…. Schools still eh finish
build, in some cases we have to sen’ children to private school people open
around de corner an’ de government payin’ de schools to take de chilren…
De schools have no labs (sorry for you if yuh
want to do science), no playgrounds, an’ nobody checkin’ to see how
trained teachers are or if de schools followin’ any particular educational
standards….. We have ah huge security problem wit’ children stabbin’
up each other, we still producing illiterates….. Madame minister, nice
smile an’ all, is time to take ah back seat!
We bring in a company wit’ ah agreement to sell
excess power to we power supplier (whether dey need it or not!), so dey
guaranteed profits… Dey say dey go build some industry to assist
T&T.. Two years later not ah brick on top de odder… Did
de Minister of Energy resign…? Kyah!
Kyah! Kyah! But he decide not
to run for office again… small comfort! Ah eh even talk about de
over $700M desalination plant we building, since we livin’ in de Sahara…
weeeeyyyyy boy…..!
Up to now we cyah find $30M in rice we say we put
on ah boat from India… ah doh know what route dat boat use… is 2 ½ yrs now
dat rice comin’…. Dey investigate, we get ah report… de report eh
see de light of day! Den de Minister of Agriculture get sued by
farmers for breakin’ rules dat he
himself make…. He outta politics now, since he get ketch on ah
cell phone callin’ de Prime Minister ah $@#&^%@ an’ tellin’ ah fren he
goin’ to confront the PM on some corruption issues…. so in ah way, he
resign, because he hang heself!
What about being evil, wicked, mean, nasty and
small-minded? DE EMA
(Environmental Management Authority) an INDEPENDENT (ha! Ha! Ha!)
commission (de government appoints the board) gives out environmental awards to
groups or persons who have contributed in this area.
Well, the EMA informs the Fishermen and Friends of the Sea (FFOS) dat dey
are getting’ an award.
Since FFOS has critisied and exposed the government in the past, the
Minister writes to the EMA, askin’ de INDEPENDENT body to withdraw de
award. De EMA withdraws de award
without explanation! All the NGOs boycott de function in protest……
de Minister still has de dotish look on he face, an’ still holds office…..
yuh jus’ cyah shame some people……!
Ah mean, de list goes on, but ah t’ink yuh get
de message….! By de way, Mr PM, you appointed dese people…… doh make meh
have tuh ask yuh, nah man… do de hournourable t’ing!
Not dat de Opposition any
better, eh…! De Mr. Maddening take ah issue to court, lose it and incur
ah debt of $1.2 M to de party… dey still beggin’ on de papers for money to
pay for it…. Dis man lose two general elections, each time by ah
larger margin.. an’ he still doh understan’ why he should tender he
resignation… after all, he doin’ ah good job (for de rulin’ party!)
TAKE DAT "AS IF"...!
By any means necessary, I say….! Legal thievery is wat I call it (ah t’aught only banks an’ lawyers use to do dat! J)….
We now have de spectre of a government dat can take yuh lan’ without ah “by your leave, sir”.
Dey want to pass ah Land Bill dat will give de Minister sole and supreme right to acquire land as HE sees fit “as if” for public purpose.
Now everywhere in de world, gov’t could pay for yuh property and ask yuh to move for public good, eg. For a highway, hospital, school, etc.. Now dis bill goes further and says dat de government can acquire land “as if” for public use, meanin’ dat private land could be taken an’ given to dey frens to put down hotel, factory, eco-lodge, whatever, because de Minister decide dat dat is de bes’ use of de lan’..
Now dat eh madness! So private lands can be taken and given to anodder private, NOT public entity. So if yuh buy lan’ an’ set it aside for yuh chilren, de government could come an’ say… “Wat yuh doin’ on dat lan’? Planting cabbage and lettuce…? Nah, we t’ink ah ice factory is de bes’ use for dis lan’…get out!” Jus’ so! Nex’ t’ing yuh hear Franko, who is ah government supporter have ah ice factory on de lan’ an’ yuh family eh have no lan’ to even raise ah chicken on!
Man, de story is dey gunnin’ for Chaguaramas, Toco, Las Cuevas and Charlotteville in Tobago to get lan’ to put up port, hotel, marina, etc….. but land owners protestin’, so dey decide “Eh-heh! Well, ah go do for alyuh… take dat in alyuh pfeffen!” An’ under the Land Bill, yuh have no recourse to de courts an’ de Minister is above all odder laws dat may be existence.
Now, if dat is not evil, what is?! An’ wat is de Opposition Leader doin’? Busy fightin’ Keitos to remain in charge of he party… Rome burnin’ an’ yuh boy is the “Fulsome Fiddler”……
But ah tellin’ dem flat, if dey come to take any lan’ I have “AS IF” for public use, ah go chop man left, right an’ centre “as if” is bush ah cuttin’….! Dey go have to bury dat Land Bill!
Anyway to ease de tension an’ to sen’ alyuh
off, I have been carefully observing taxi drivers in Trinidad (at de rate ah
goin’, ah go need to run ah taxi to pay
meh bills!) an’ ah come up with attributes to be:
AH TAXI DRIVER IN TnT………
Yuh mus’…….
Stick yuh towel, rag or kerchief in de breeze to
dry it…. dat way de driver behind eh know if ah go slow dong/stop, signal yuh
givin’ or if yuh doin’ ah small
laundry… de anxiety does drive dem mad! As
de driver behin’ get fed up an’ try tuh pass yuh, stop! If he hit yuh from
behin’, de law say he wrong!
Swing out without warnin’ or indicating dat yuh
comin’ into traffic… if ah car screech to ah stop to avoid hittin’ yuh,
move out slowly while lookin’ at de driver hard in he face….. Wha’
happen to he?… like he blin’… he eh see meh pullin’ out?!
Why de hell dem young boys doh pay attention when dey drivin’?! Steups!
When yuh see ah light goin’ from yellow to red,
fly t’rough wit’ yuh horns blarin’! Sorry
for any pedestrian or driver who move early! Lick up time!
However, if de light on green, an’ ah passenger stop yuh, stop so dat nobody
else could pass…….. leh everybody wait on de green light!
If people start blowin’ dey
horn, is because dey unreasonable and selfish..… dey eh want yuh to make ah livin’!
When yuh on de highway an’ somebody doin’
70 mph in de fas’ lane, drive right up on de bumper an’ honk, while
flashin’ yuh lights…. Why de hell dey eh go an’
drive for ah hearse!… dey eh realise yuh have trips to make?!
So what if de speed limit is 50 mph an’ all meh passengers prayin’ to
reach safe…. dey eh know ah could drive or what?!
If ah passenger ask yuh to turn de music dong or
drive slower.. watch dem an’ twist up yuh face…. after all dey eh have no
rights… dey only’ payin’ dey money….! Look, once yuh get in my
car, it means yuh damn well accept however ah drive!
When yuh on de taxi stan’ an’ yuh see ah
passenger comin’, make sure dat 5
of alyuh rush him to make sure he get in yuh car…. Lie if necessary… “Yeah, man… ah need one more after you..”, when yuh
damn car eh have nobody in it!
Make sure yuh car have upholstery dat will leave
marks on any light colored clothing. Preferably
a nice black mark! When yuh car
smokin’ an’ lookin’ rak-a-tang… an’ nobody eh travel wit’ yuh, cuss
an’ get on, because people only want to travel in new car… dey eh unnerstan’
you have to make ah livin’ too?!
Try an’ make frens wit’ every police man on
de route… yuh go need dem!
EDITOR'S NOTE: THE MANAGEMENT AND STAFF OF TNN.htm WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS THEIR SINCERE CONDOLENCES TO THE WEEKES/LOUIS-CHARLES FAMILY ON THE LOSS OF THEIR LOVED ONE.
Dat’s all for dis week folks… remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs etc… jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care care, alyuh, ah gone…. Peace….. Rum and CocaCola,.. goin’ dong Pt. Cumana……. (background music)
Views expressed do not reflect the opinions of KP Resorts, Ltd., it's management or staff.