TNN 83
Hello folks… de Cobra again, comin’ from de deep South Caribbean…(deep voice).. Dis is TNN….. Jean an’ Dinah.. Rosita and Clementina… by de corner posin’… bet yuh life is something dey sellin’…(background music, Sparrow)
Jumpstation: Whoa boy; Howzat; Kicksin' around; Stooping to conquer; Golden bolden.
Heh, heh, heh… seems as though someone is tryin’ to reign in ah runaway horse (maybe a cousin to ah horse in dis case…..…!). Yeah man, we Finance Minister decide dat de government borrowin’ too much much willy-nilly an’ spendin’ vie-ki-vie… enemies of thrift apparently have taken over de treasury…. de open door t’rough which money has been flowing like water an’ floodin’ de economy wit’ debt….
Ah wonder what give Yetming (Yets) dat idea boy.. is it because we airport dat was suppose to cost $700m is now up at 1.3 Billion an’ still eh finish.. an’ dey have de brass face to come back to Parliament to ask for MORE money for “ancilliary works”?! An’ ketch dis… de current Minister of Works an’ Transport say dat dey have to put in some finishing touches like fixin’ leaks…. WHAT?! LEAKS?! An’ de buildin’ eh finish yet?! An’ plus to dat dey want to work on de runway too….. may de good heavens preserve we! If yuh cyah put up ah buildin’ dat eh leakin’, yuh go build ah runway to take plane weighing hundreds of tons?
What about de fact dat after we cancel de debt of CARONI, de sweet sugar people manage to run up ah debt of $1.7 Billion in less dan five years… startin’ from scratch… now dat is speed, Concorde style! Dey han’ dem ‘bout 5 restructurin’ plan already an’ dey eh accept none, apparently dis is de best alternative…… hmmmmm..
What about de fact dat de last 10 secondary schools dey build run over $50 million over projected costs? Dem children mus’ be getting’ Ph.D. when de leave….!
What about de more dan $300 M for dey “pave roads before election” jaunt? EH? An’ de “hanging arch” dat we Minster of Settlements John-boy heself want to build instead of ah simple overpass (add $150M).
An’ de dreaded list goes on… but wait! Wait!
Hear dis classic… de PM
went to England for he medical checkup, but he eh take no bodyguards so dat he
… “he could SAVE taxpayers money!” I
guess de odder projects didn’t cost we ah cent! ….but enough idiocy for
now….
In de opinion of some people “Fiscal responsibility” means “doh let nobody ketch yuh t’iefin’ !”
Ah did forget to pinch alyuh dis one two weeks ago…. we World Cup Squad get 3-0 from Costa Rica after losin’ 1-0 in Jamaica an’ in de nex’ two weeks we have tuh play Mexico (de strongest team in we zone, mercifully at home).
Right now we at de bottom of de table an’ only de top 3 out of de 7(?) teams goin’ t’rough.. now we could still qualify eh, but only if we pull we socks up to we neck in de nex’ 2 weeks!
Yuh see what worryin’ people is de way we get beat……
an’ ah mean beat… like egg when yuh makin’ cake….
Look, ah reach home de night feelin’ tired, but ah say “Nah, ah have to watch meh boys…” My word! Oh gooooooddddd!
Look, Costa Rica take up residence in we half of de field like dey pay rent for it… now an’ den yuh see ah ball pas’ half line, an’ is because we lose it after two touch…
Costa Rica is de poorest finishin’ team I ever see.. 3-0 is flatterin’…. dem coulda EASILY give we seven…! De bak line take pressure like ah pipeline.. In de las’ 10 minutes of de first half we start tuh play good, but less dan one minute into de secon’ half is goal in we pfeffen!
An’ like dat
was de las’ straw.. de poor camel get bocey-back! Man, dem Latins attack we like
eagle goin’ after dove… dem was de corbeaux an’ we was de dead carrion!
We play ah perfect game…we trap bad, we pass bad, we dribble bad, we
shoot bad! Dat is genius!
What about de basic skills dat we players eh master yet……? Ummm? Such as you must control de ball in less dan two touches or less? What about not funnellin’ de ball to a single forward who will be marked out of de game? What about headin’ a ball properly or learnin’ to shoot from 20 or more metres out… not in de general direction of de goal, but AT de goal?!
Fren, ah hope dat was jus’ ah bad night, but experience tell meh odderwise… we have de most foreign based “stars” on we team, but yet still we strugglin’… yuh see, stars do not ah team make…. it may be better to form a good, cohesive local team, win with them an’ use yuh stars for de World Cup when yuh qualify an’ dey have time to play wit’ de team…
What is de purpose of flyin’ ah man in from England (snow and five hours ahead) to Jamaica (desert sunshine) an’ expect him to fit in an’ perform within’ 48 hours?! But I is not ah football coach, so maybe I eh know what a sayin’….
Mejico, hombres, dis town is not biiig enough’ for both of us! Dis iiiiisss de Soca Warriors! Iiiss TACO time!
STOOPING TO CONQUER... (SORRY!).. DRAW..
What more can I say about de West Indies side? Ditto… ditto… ditto, every week, every Test…. de lates’ embarassment in Kensington Oval in B’dos…. South Africa score over 400 hundred runs…. we rally an’ dey only had ah small lead at de end of de first’ Innings… mankind put down dey head an’ bat…
Den SA put up ah big score in de secon’ innings so we realise we couldn’t make it in de time left so de match seem to be headin’ for ah draw… But no sah! Not we West Indies Team… dat wouldn’t create any excitement, so de “domino effect” start… man SA rip t’rough we batsmen an’ had we reelin’ on de ropes, wit’ half hour left to bat an’ two wickets in hand…. it look so touch an’ an’ go….. den horror of horrors, ah couldn’t believe meh eyes, we two batsmen start some tactics ah never t’aught ah woulda see in WI cricket… man start to complain about thigh injury, fall dong on de ground an’ rollin’ around, physiotherapist reach on field.. De umpire get so vex he warn dem twice for wastin’ time….. den as de bowler runnin’ up to bowl, de batsman pull away from de wicket an’ de bowler have to start over again……den in between each ball, man wakin’ about de crease, stretchin’ he leg, takin’ almighty time to settle down for de nex’ ball…. it take 22 mins. to bowl fours overs, by which time light had started to fade…eventually de SA captain jus’ pick up stumps an’ walk off in frustration, declaring de game ah draw…
Man, ah was humiliated…we reach de point of “win at all costs?”. What yuh expeck de young fellas to copy? If yuh was injured, retire hurt or get ah runner, but doh stan’ up in de crease an’ waste time… shameful, man, shameful!
Dat's not de way we learn to play ah game…. if de team play de fool, dey deserve to lose… yuh mean tuh tell meh, yuh cyah bat for ah little more dan half ah day to save ah match, no need for any rash strokes, jus’ get battin’ practice.. but dat was askin’ too much apparently.. so off to Antigua now for de Fourth Test, but even though we see ah draw in Kensington, WI cricket was definitely de loser…..
Oh dear, how unseemly this discussion…… a row had flared up between Finance Minister Yets and Ato Boldon, our most decorated athlete to date….
Apparently we PM Bas in a fit of generosity promised Ato accomodation an’ dey were to get back to him on a suitable place, once dey had located one (or somet’ing like dat.. yuh know in dis place yuh cyah get de ful story…it always unfoldin’ like some Shakespeaerean dram).
Anyway, Ato papa locate ah condominium in ah high rise building (luxury) an’ request one…Yets say NO! It too expensive… apparently de place cost TT$2.7 M in total.
Some say Ato too bold to ask for dat... odders say de man deserve it, etc., an’ de ole talk goes on……. of course yuh know de Cobra have tuh jump in dis one….
Well after carefully goin’ over de facts (if dey are such)…. let us consider dat Ato has been in the US since age 14 or therebouts an’ has always ran for TnT, to the extent that some people in the US were upset that he was using their facilities, being a world beater and still not taking US citizenship, so the fellow’s dedication cannot be questioned.
Some people have given up citizenship for less (an’ I eh blamin’ nobody , eh, so doh get on alyuh high horse…alyuh might fall off!). De man have two Junior Olympic Gold, two Olympic bronze, one Olympic silver, one World Games gold and a couple dozen other gold and silver medals… way an’ above anyone before him…
In terms of lifesyle, ah mean de man lives for de most part in de US, he has requested a US$400,000 house, hardly a rich mansion by US standards. Of course it may be a bit much by Trini’s.
Consider also dat when yuh take ah $300,000 mortgage from de bank, yuh payin’ back $1.2 million at de end for ah simple townhouse or 3 bedroom so de man eh askin’ for de moon……. But I do not have a problem wit’ de apartment because in terms of achievement and consistency over the last 8 years, he is difficult to match.
If de government had something less in mind, no problem, but doh make de man out to be no money mongering beast. Before he was ah Olympian, nobody give him ah black cent… is only when he reach, we rush to confer bounty on him… an’ de man never ask for anything.. de PM ask him to suggest accommodation, so all he do was suggest, de government doh have to accept de suggestion.
People say Crawford had to wait 20 years to get ah house from de government after winning Gold in de Montreal 100M in 1976 ….. well athletes wasn’t worth dat much den as now, an’ is not Ato fault if de government was slow to act or recognise de man, okay?
So leh we cut out de personality attack t’ing, alright, because dem same people who criticisin’ Ato does want to call strike for more pay because dey feel dey eh get what dey deserve, an’ dey eh put in 1/10th of de effort Ato put in to get wey he is….. so leh we have some balance in dis, alright!
Dat’s all for dis week folks… remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs etc… jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care, ah go send alyuh ah Easter something before de end of dis week… laters..…. Peace….. Jump! Up an’ dong de place…..Jump! Ah want to pelt meh waist….! (background music)
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