TNN 76
Hello again folks…. ah back again ….. an’…(deep voice)… This is TNN…. Jump in town J’ouvert mornin’… find yuhself in ah band… (Kitchener) …..(background music)….. ah lot of news dis week again…. an’ one week before general elections!
Jumpstation: Down under(foot); Pad up; Water down; Stage fright; On de trail; Goodbye sir.
Woooooooo…! Wooooooooooo!…… Dat was de ambulance comin’ to get the beaten, mangled, messy body of West Indies Cricket, to take it to Emergency Surgery.
Man, ah was in near hysterics watchin’ dat secon’ Test match! Ah was sittin’ up in meh bed, watchin’ de brutal massacre. At first ah t’ought ah did fall asleep an’ was dreamin’.. well dat was one Hell of ah nightmare….. up to now ah cyah wake up!
De firs’ innings was de bes’… 5 for 22 at one point in time. McGrath take ah hattrick.. Campbell, Lara and Adams gone in 3 consecutive balls, makin’ de same error. When yuh playin’ ah defensive shot, keep yuh bat handle dong, or de ball will pin of de bat! What more simple dan dat yuh want.
An’ talk about insult..! After de hattrick, Steve Waugh (War) bring in seven (yuh could imagine!) slips to field wit’ de wicketkeeper… in odder words, yuh cyah hit de ball further than slips.. My word! If it wasn’t for Hinds and we wicketkeeper Jacobs (96 not out) we woulda be in Cesspit City!
Still, less than 200… De Australians come in an’ lay bat in we tail.When dey was LESS than 200 ahead dey declare… more insult again… yuh doh even expeck de side to make 200.. an’ he was right! It wasn’t pretty. An’ it have ah young boy dey.. Brett Lee, de fastest t’ing on two legs, well he give dem something tuh talk, an’ write home about… is speed like ah racecar.. dem boys jus’ duckin’ an running…!
An like de top order batsmen fraid de bowlers… de lower order eh expected to bat, so dey jus’ apply de basics wit’ ah positive attitude an’ next ting, dem boys postin’ scores………..
First innings Lara make 0, then 17. Most poor! It still have 3 Test Matches.. ah hear Chanders break dong now.. now, dis fella is 26 years old; las’ year he was suffereing from chronic fatigue… den in England he mash up he tendons an’ couldn’t play, now he have two stress fractures, one on he left toe an’ de odder on he shin.. What dey feedin’ dat young fella?! Oh gorm….!
Now Adams say he want ah sport psychologist yesterday, because de team morale low… ah wonder why? Ah wonder why when dey lose de first Test in 3 days, dey didn’t go dong to Perth an’ practise instead ah sightseeing?
Ah wonder why when dey reach Perth, dey was playing football wit’ de cricket ball when dey was supposed to be practicing in serious?
AH wonder why dey in danger of losin’ sponsorship?
Ah wonder why de WI cricket Board doh resign?
Ah wonder why ah wonderin’?
Ah done soak meh leather belt in pee already… ah waitin’ for dem!
No, I eh talkin’ about cricket again… it seems dat some people have the gift of bilocation… dey could be in two places at de same time.
Papatrick did say at de start of de campaign dat it have people who transferring to “marginal costituencies” so dat de ruling party go stay in power. Dem boys on top say is just gimmicks by the Opposition.
Well, like de police eh t’ink so apparently.. 17 people get arrested already because dey say dey livin’ in ah nex’ place an’ when de Police check, nobody eh dey… is empty lot, is lamp post, garage, all kinda t’ing.
Well dey say dat is jus’ de tip of de iceberg.. is long time dis goin’ on, but is only now de ketch it.. so some people say de election might be over, even before it start… sad, very sad.
Look wey we reach… now de rulin’ party say is jus’ ah few people get ketch, what is all de controversy about? So if ah few people get kill in domestic violence, why bodder? Ent cars does kill more people? Wit’ dat kinda reasonin’ yuh understand why we in de state we in…..?
Yuh suppose to come out and say yuh codemn it, an’ anybody who do it should feel de full weight of de law… dead silence…
But yuh know what beatin’ meh?
How people could allow politrick-ians to use dem so?
Now yuh tail in jail, wey dem? Why
dey didn’t pad de votin’ list or ask dey own family to pad it?
Yuh learn yuh lesson yet? Ah
doubt it….
Eh heh, flood for so las’ week… we had one week ah heavy rain an’ if yuh see water… People had was to run from dey house…. water up to dey bed… fridge, stove, poultry everyt’ing get wash dong.
Car wash people lose dey wuk, de prisons an all get flood out… prisoner had to move, dey declare disaster areas in about 5 parts of de country… all de new road dey put dong wash way (literally money dong de drain!).
De UNC say it was ‘ah act of god”… Poor God.. ah
wonder who he/she votin’ for? De PNM say is slackness… dey meet ah $400M drainage plan
when dey come into office an dey eh maintain de drains an’ dem….
Who suppose to be maintainin’ dem passageways?! Everybody lookin’ at one anodder an’ pointin’ finger…. an’ with all dis water, dey still intend to build ah desalination plant….. we boys smart, yuh know…..
Well ah suppose alyuh hear about de stands dat fall dong an injure one setta people at de Machel Montano concert las’ week.. yeah, more dan 100 people, some seriously an’ undergoin’ operation an’ t’ing…
Apparently de stands couldn’t take de jammin’ an’ it collapse… was frightenin’ ah hear….. but dey still continue de concert, which to my mind was not de way to go… it was like sayin’, who get injured, is dem hard luck, we goin’ on wit’ de show.. who dead, dead!
Some people say it woulda have riot if dey try to stop
it, which I doh believe.. If yuh tell people dat yuh have some serious injuries
an’ yuh doh feel it safe to go on, yuh will have to have de concert anodder
time, but tickets still valid, I doh see nobody makin’ ah big fuss… if
people get on bad, den we have police for dat….. Ah cyah believe we
reach de stage in society where yuh see people wit’ broken bones, bleedin’, etc.
an’ people go say… hard luck…! Is so it does happen sometimes!
Trinis always feel it cyah happen here…. safety is ah option, not ah necessity.. ent?
ON DE TRAIL: ...some beauties from the de platform
BUN DEM…!
Like Papatrick decide he is Stalin, so he tell people
near election day, bring dey UNC jerseys an’ dey go have ah bonfire an’ bun
all ah dem….now in one ah de meetings ah see ah rabid supporter burnin’ ah
jersey…consider wat would happen in ah big rally wen people get incensed?
An’ isn’t lightin’ fires in public or incitin’ others to do so ah
serious offense? Wey de Fire Service in all dis?
Dere goes Papatrick again, doin’ wat he does do bes’..an’ wat is
dat? Well, we still ent sure…..we
have to find somet’ing he does do good first!
HIGH GROUND….
Well de MP for San Juan/Barataria say he find out ah
plot de PNM have to burst de banks of de Caroni River an’ turn on de WASA
mains, to flood ah village on Election Day so de voters in de village wouldn’t
be able to come out to vote for him……now, really , alyuh doh expeck meh to
comment on dat!
De same fella say how de PNM move 893 votes into he area
buy some roundabout route, how de do somet’ing in de regional EBC office , but
didn’t do it in the main office or de reverse…me eh know…de EBC say plain
an’ simple dat de man talkin’ nonsense…..which means he could make ah good
MP!
An’ on it goes…..
BUSH TALK….
Now Mr Gypsy (de calypsonian goin’ up for mayaro) report to de authorities dat because of de amount of balisier flowers he seein’ on lamposts around de place he fin’ dat de PNM supporters depletin’ de forests, which is ah serious matter. Of course since de UNC symbol is ah rising sun, it kinda hard to t’ief dat from anywhere…
now for de pas’ 40 years people cutting balisier once every five
years an’ we eh have ah problem… suddenly Gypsy concerned ‘bout de
forest…! Ah professor had to
answer him an’ tell him dat de balisier is really a pest species, an’ de
more yuh cut it, de faster it grows back, so dat he talikn’ “utter
nonsense”… anodder MP in de makin’!
VOTE DEM IN.. AH MEAN OUT!
De bes’ of course was de PM who, in a meeting, tell de people when dey go to de votin’ booth, t’ink about de children an’ de ole people an’ de furture an’ put yuh X by de BALISIER!
Ah man say like de PM cross de floor to de odder side….
man was uproar! He supporters start to bawl, de people on de platform behin’ him
screamin’ at him to make him change de statement….. poor fella…. remember
always drink AFTER yuh talk!
Well at age 83, Sir Isacc Hyatali, former Chief Justice and head of the Elections and Boundaries Commission for about 20 years (ah t’ink), died suddenly an’ was buried on Tuesday last.
A legal luminary if their ever was one, a true son of
de soil who “let he bucket dong in Trinidad and Tobago waters” when he could
have got fame and fortune elsewhere……….. Was involved in drafting the
Constitution, setting up the Industrial court, served as Chief Justice, etc….
and let us not forget, married for 58 years to the same person. Take note…. consistent in personal and public life.
Well done, Sir.. Goodbye…..
Dat’s all for dis week folks… remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs, etc… jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care, laters. Watch out for TNN coverage on de morning after election… full analysis, news and views.. get your copy early, dey go be goin’ fas’!.…. Peace….. All day, all night, Miss Mary Ann… dong by de seaside, she sifting sand….…. ….(background music)
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