TNN 71

Hello folks….(deep voice)…..from TnT dis is TNN……. jump in town J’ouvert mornin’… fin’ yuh self in ah band …..(Kitchener).. background music….

Jumpstation: Pan-demonium; Sex, lies an' tapes; Who is de man in(g) charge?; The end is near?.

Hey people, we jus’ had a World Steelband Festival in TnT, an’ once again a Trini band won the festival (Skiffle Bunch)….“so there was much rejoicing in the land” as ye ole English lads would say.   But yuh boy wasn’t bouncin’ around too much, because some worryin’ t’ings was keeping meh awake at night.  

De firs’ night of de festival had to be cancelled because of rain….   Now tell me somet’ing?!  You havin’ ah World Steelbad Festival in the Mecca of steelband, foreigners comin',  an’ you had to call it off because of rain?!   RAIN, ah say…. not ah flood, not ah snow blizzard….. ordinary, tropical , 6 months ah year, rain……  Yes, after all we culture dat we does boast about, we still doh have ah festival hall (s) where people could go an’ hear pan in comfort (or anything else for that matter).   

Den in de prelims., ah foreign band who come togedder for a few months before de Festival lick up all ah dem…  Man start to panic…..  Den in de Finals, ah foreign band come second (ah university band dat started practicin’ de pieces some weeks ago)…

Most interestin’…!  How come dey was able to do so good….?   Simple… dey could READ music…. not like we panmen who insist dat “ah good, jus’ gimme de rhythm.. ah go pick it up”.    No, being able to read music, my foreign friends practice on dey own or in little groups an’ only had to come togedder for ah few sessions.  

Of course Sweden (or is it Switzerland?) already standardize dey pan an’ have pan factory sellin’ pan.   We cyah standardize we pan after 60 years (everybody want to make dey own “unique pan”, so panmaker A have he “C” note at de top, Panmaker B have he note at  de bottom, Panmanker C..an’ so on…)an’ still cyah make money off pan while odder people have factory.. interestin’….!

Of course no big setta crowd until de Finals night, so dem foreigners probably wonderin’...  “Wha’ is dem people story boy…?   We come all dis way to ah WORLD Steelband Festival an’ like dey own people eh interested”. 

 Makes you wonder what de Hell PanTrinbago an’ de Ministry of Culture has been doin’ all dese years..!   If yuh give dem ah chance dey go tarnish gold!  

So ah still waitin’ for all dese t’ings to be set right, while de foreigners even come with ah new pan , “de Pyramid Pan” for de competition.  But doh worry, Pan is WE t’ing, ent?!

Sound like de ole Speilberg movie eh?  Well we have we own version in TnT.

SEX…. Ms. Education Minsiter an’ Mr.  Energy Minister was on de platform ah couple week ago an’ de Energy Minster started some talk about how he “droppin’ pipe” all over de country (laying of pipe lines), even in de Education Minister constituency.    She came later an’ continue the charade about pipe and water, an’ size of pipe etc…. most unseemly.  

Some people bawl is because she is ah woman people pickin’ on she for makin’ “off color” jokes, how dey ent pick on de Minister who start he dutty talk…..

Now in my books, ah didn’t expect not’ing better from de Energy Minster…. he was as dey say “par for de course”.. he was operatin’ as usual wit’ he altimeter readin’ “LOW”… dem is de kind ah people who if yuh doh look sharp, yuh go bounce yuh ankle against dey head……dey have tuh use rod to pick pumkin…! 

But when meh Education Minister who ah have ah high degree of respeck for descend dong dey, ah wasn’t impressed, because ah know she capable of better.   So de bes’ t’ing would have been to jus’ apologise if people were offended an’ move on… but instead dey choose to go up an’ defend dat kinda behaviour, because odder people in de Opposition use innuendo some time ago, etc….   Yuh see, some people never wrong…. We await further comments from de Pied “Piper” 

Well, I tell you true… dere is no honour among thieves…. when de government did come in, dey was close togedder an’ stick up under each odder like underarm deodorant… now dey have ah fallin’ out an’ Ah Boo Boo release some tapes wit' conversations of we agriculture minister talkin’ to ah next fren of his about corruption in de government, an’ on top ah dat how he was goin’ to confront de PM, further callin’ he boss by an epletive  “Ah sure de #$&% (meanin’ de PM) go fire meh”.  

Well, it was fire in truth, but it was up de Minster’s “posterior end”, because as de news break, is because he drop Reeza from he slate of candidates, an’ now de  Minster “suckin’ salt”. 

Like yuh boy workin’ in de City Pound, because yuh know he in de dog house….. he was already move to de Environment Ministry (i.e. given nothing to do) which was ah demotion… but like he take de Environment t’ing to heart, because he get heself  “t’row in de bamboo”, an’ right now he “at sea” as far as he future in de party concern….. ah hope he could “paddle he own canoe”, because ah could tell yuh, dis election boat “sail without him”!

WHO IS DE MAN IN(G) CHARGE....?

A bit of old news, but nevertheless relevant…….

Apparently one MP Draper (Drapes) has been absent from Parliament for more dan 60% of its sittings.  Man wonderin’ if dey elect ah “spirit”, because dey cyah see de man in bodily form atall, atall, atall…! 

Now Manday jump on de bandwagon sayin’ how ah man takin’ money under false pretenses because he eh representin’ de people who elect him, an’ if yuh t’ink yuh cyah fin’ him in Parliament, doh try lookin’ in he constituency either! 

Of course de problem I have wit’ Manday is dat he around too much!   Anyway, dat was off to de side…. 

Maddening an’ dem say is de Speaker (who in spite of he title refuse to say ah word on de issue) at fault because he is de one who does approve leave for MP’s.  

I certainly cyah agree wit’ dat…. Ah mean, come on, man… YOU is de man!  You had the final say in puttin’ de man up for election.  Which means you had to be satisfied dat he coulda represent de people… he is in YOUR party an’ you is in charge (we hope) of your MPs.  Doh try to back out now… yuh shoulda ask de man two years ago to show up or give up he seat to somebody else.  

Is de same t’ing like dem parents blamin’ teachers when dey children get in trouble at school… "oh de teachers shoulda be watchin’ dem…" Is your hard head chilren who wouldn’t listen which is why dey end up wey dey is.  Doh try an’ shift blame now!  If de chile was doin’ well, dey woulda be proud to say “Da is meh chile …”, ent?  

So to me dat shows you eh have no control over yuh own MPs, so you cyah be leadin’ de party (except yuh leadin’ it out ah gov’t)… yuh fail miserably… admit yuh shoulda pay more attention to de situation an’ apologise to de constituents who vote him in.. an’ make sure he apologise too!   

Dat is de actions of ah man an’ ah leader, wha’ yuh say?!  Accept responsibility an’ say yuh wrong.  Now he promisin’ to ensure if he get back in power, he go make sure an’ do he bes’ to weed out any elements who jumpin’ in jus’ to get ah share of de pie..   If yuh cyah handle one man, yuh go handle more…!

THE END IS NEAR....?

Ah boy, is ah sad scene wit’ de PM dese days….. up to know de man cyah call ah election date, an’ like de longer he wait, de worse t’ings getting’….. take ah look…..

C(S)ELL-OUT…

De firs’ lash he get was about 2 weeks ago when de courts hand dong ah judgement sayin’ dat he exercised bias against the CCN network (who is anyt’ing but pro-government I might add) when dey apply for ah cellular license, so dey ban de PM from takin’ part in any comitteee or negotiations or process concerned wit’ grantin’ licenses .    

In odder words, de COURT say dat de man cyah be trusted!  Dey apply for ah stay of execution of judgement, de court say NO!  Talk done!  Dis is de first time in we history, ah court rule against ah sittin’ PM in de exercise of his duty.  He better dial 1 800 GET HELP…..

“STICK AND STONES……. BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME…”

Nope, words can hurt you… in yuh pocket!   Again de courts fin’ de PM guilty of libel against Ken Gordon, one of de jefes at CCN… 

Manday call de man ah “pseudo-racist” in public, an’ say he worse dan ah racist, because he does use race for he own use an’ how he tryin’ to control de media an’ bring dong de government, etc (dat was 2 years ago).  

Ken ask de man to take back what he say… Bas say no! no! an’ ah thousand times NO!    So Ken sue he tail…  next ting is because de judge say dat we PM have to pay TT$700,000 dollars in damage.  Oh goooooddddd! 

De PM look like he get ah bull pistle ….. all he keep sayin’ when dey interview him is “my lawyers have advised me that the judge is wrong”… meh boy say dat bout 4 times, no matter what de question… he was in ah mess!  

Dat is de secon’ time de court was wrong about him…..  What de hell wrong wit’ dese courts boy?!   Dey only pickin’ on de man….!   Bas say he go appeal right up to de Privy Council……  If is one t’ing he learn, is dat “talk eh cheap”! 

DASHING MINISTER….

Dis one topple over de coal pot….  Danny “Winer boy” Singh get fired as Minister of Local Government.  De PM eh tell him nothin’… de man get de news on TV. 

Dis was right after de PM tell him doh put he name up as a candidate for he constituency (even though de people wanted him), so Danny hand in ah letter sayin’ he eh runnin’ again…   

Brudder de day after he han’ it in, Bas fire he tail!    De PM appoint “Don Juan” Carlos John(ny Come Lately) to be Minister (dis is less dan two months before ah election, eh…).  

Nex’ t’ing yuh know Police raid Danny house and office in connection with fraud in de URP program which was in he ministry……  Danny spend whole day talkin’ to he lawyers…   Remember dat when ah councilman get killed, dey raid he house too, because he had call de man an’ issue death threats to  him on de phone……yuh t’ink yuh dealin’ wit’ ah stiff  waist man or what?! 

Dis was ah fella who bus’ ah slap on ah senior officer for pullin’ him over for drivin’ on de shoulder (dat case still in court), show he gun to protesters in front he office, cuss out people, beat he wife, had de Muslimeen as he bodyguards, was in office when Muslimeen remove ah fellow from he office drive him away an’ put some licks on him, always winin’ all over de place, backin’ back on anybody who oppose him… an’ yet still de PM was huggin’ him like ah teddy bear (“meh hardest workin’ Minster “ he did call him).   

Well, is like de mark buss… Bas start to move cold wit’ de man for de las’ couple months….   After de firin’ an’ house search, Danny boy fall sick an’ bus’ it to New York… nobody eh know when he comin’ back..!   He is ah diabetic an’ dey say de stress sen’ he sugar level up.  

Ah hear de man fly on ah diplomatic passport… now hold on…..! Mash brakes!   If de man is not ah Minister of Government, it mean he cyah represent de government abroad, unless he is ah ambassador or have some special privilege, so who give him dat Diplomatic passport?   Silence….. Ah hear he comin’ back de end of de month.. we go see….. like he win once too often….!

 My comment is: Danny shoulda talk to Ato, because if Ato did run as fas’ as Danny boy, he woulda sure collect gold in dat Olympics!

Dat’s all for dis week folks… Join me Fri or thereabouts for anodder edition of your local news network… stay up…..