TNN 61

Hello folks…. (Deep voice…)…. Dis is TNN….. I’m de Baron…dey call me de sweet soca man.. (background music)…

Jumpstation: Your house is my house; Makin' sense outta nonsense; It's a war out there; Oil and water doh mix.

Yes, folks…de soap opera/fight continues…in  dis cornerrrrrrr…, we have the Chief Justice, CJ… (a great roar from the Judiciary…..) an’ over to my right…de reigning AG… Mr. “Twist-Mouth” Maraj…! (government side goes crazy…)! 

Anyway, it appears dat dey argiun’ over ah house…de CJ tell ah judge he coulda use de house, so de judge start tuh make renovations…den de army move in an’ say is dem house, an’ kick out de workemen.  So de CJ get vex an’ start tuh ramajay……

Now I eh no legal mind (ah t’ink ah have ah l’il common sense t’ough), but brudder, all yuh have tuh do is go to the relevant gov’t department  an’ fin’ out who have control of de house (SOMEBODY had  tuh assign de house!) an’ all de ole talk done.  If de CJ want de house, let him write an’ ask for it (provided de judiciary doh have claim tuh it) an’ is either yes or no…. soundin’ simple, eh?  Yeah, so avoid dat route at all costs!

Nex’ t’ing I know de CJ on TV, ragging up de AG, an’ Wade Bark answerin’ back (shouldn’t de AG be de one to do dat?) an’ chastisin’ de CJ, an’ is one setta back an’ forth….   On top a dat, ah senior judge resign 6 months before he was supposed tuh go off, because he say de Judiciary have too much confusion, is either de AG eh like de CJ, or de Law Commission President eh like de CJ, or de AG eh like de President, or de President supportin’ de CJ…. alyuh t’ink it easy….. an’ doh forget we have TWO commission into the judiciary an’ its function (one by the law body/judiciary) an’ den de government decide … well  if you could do it , I could do it too.an’ for more money to boot!  

Now in between all ah dat, poor little peewats like me tryin’ tuh get meh case call an’ get some justice in meh own land…. elephants fightin’, de grass getting trample  an’ de pygmies runnin’ for cover….!

Ah t’ought was for de good of de country we was workin’? But anyway, I eh takin’ no sides in dis one… you be de judge….!   

If alyuh t’ink cricket is jus’ ah game, t’ink again….!  De brudder was checkin’ out de scenario for dis week…. we boys up in England…de English press have nothing good tuh say about we…

When Laro make he low scores in de firs’ few matches, dey say dey wonder if he should get ah place on de WI side, because it have young players who tryin’, an’ it might be ah injustice.. 

Imagine!.. ah injustice, tuh pick de world’s most elegant batsman on de Test side…! Who de hell ask England for dey advice?! Yuh ever hear WI commentators tellin’ England who to put on dey side?  

Den dey say dat Laro’s presence on de side might affect de unity of de side, since he was captain before, an might be lookin’ to get back de captaincy…..  again, dat is not your problem…all you have to do is show up on de day an’ take alyuh licks … as usual… for de past 30 years!  

Doh forget how Laro’s off-field activities might affect he performance…again, of what concern is dat to you….? 

An’ de worst t’ing is, we newspapers pickin’ up dem stories an’ printin’ dem as news for we…  Ah daily have ah headline “Lara’s Last Chance” before we start de game against Zimbabwe on Saturday….   Last chance?  Last chance for what?  For selection?  De only man who could full de English stadia dis summer, an’ yuh t’inkin’ of not pickin’ him? 

Check out de odder side of de coin… we boy Cronje, de former South African captain, take more than half ah dozen bribe, totalling tens of thousands of  $US dollars, an’ dey offering him IMMUNITY from  prosecution if he tell de whole truth: de man say he take he eyes of Jesus, dat is why it happen.   Den dey went on to explain how he was ah “born again” since last year etc., etc..  Plenty leeway, plenty excuse for ah man who take bribe, as a captain!    Not one person in de West Indies write ah note about de situation or de man character… but Lara eh talk to de Press when he leave B’dos for England, an’ people vex wit’ him.   Oh, he is ah prima donna, he too proud, an’ all kinda foolishness.  Yuh see what ah mean about self hatred…..?!

An’ as if to answer de critics, man… meh boy open bat in dey tail Saturday….!   If yuh see blows…! De man bat for most of de evening, and when he finish is 176 runs up on de board.    Dem scorers was sweating…. 25 fours and 5 sixes!   Brutality!   Humiliation!   Ah hear dem Zimbabweans get fit, fus’ dey was chasin' ball.    When he hit was six, when he miss, was four….!   Crowd give de man ah standing ovation twice! Dey nearly charge de man for assault, because people in de stands duckin’ from de hard ball!   Ah hear when he finally get out, is not because of de bowler, was because of de ball….  when de ball comin’ dong de pitch, see Lara bat, man it say… “Oh Lord!  Not again!” an’ is because it move aside, hit he wicket an’ he was out… is true, oui!

Bad beginning but a good ending for dis one… seems that Guyana gave some Canadian company permission to drill for oil in an area where Suriname and Guyana haven’t agreed on where de maritime border is.  

Well Suriname get vex, an’ say “Doh even put dong ah PVC pipe in dat area odderwise is me an’ you…!”  Guyana get dey back up, an’ is because fight nearly break out in de West Indian barroom. 

So we call dem dong to Trinidad an’ dey sit dong an’ tryin’ tuh sort t’ings out, an’ like de makin’ some headway.  Set up Commission an’ t’ing to come to ah solution quick, etc….

But de strangest t’ing is …. if yuh see land Surimane and Guyana have dat gey eh usin’ an’ de poor people sufferin’ in de place.  But dey fightin’ over de water.  

Dey eh usin’ what dey have, but dey fightin’ over what dey feel might be dey own…. 

But at least, ah glad tuh see dey sortin’ it out.  We could teach de worl’ ah lesson in civilised behaviour…. hmmm….. maybe even de government might learn somet’ing… but doh hold yuh breath, yuh might dead!.. 

Dat’s all for this week, folks… t’anks for tunin’ in…remember, any queries, comments, questions, ole talk, etc.., just write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go be in touch…  Hail out to Linda , way out dey in de corn belt……!  Soca is de one…when yuh havin’ fun…soca is ah state, yes, ….it is really great…(Ronnie McIntosh)