TNN 56
Hello folks.. (deep voice)… dis is TNN…… Lorraine doh cry ah leavin’… ah cyah miss dis jammin’…. (Explainer)..background music….
Jumpstation: Doh fix it, nah; Dog eat man country; Free at las', free at...oops; Election cam-pain, Easter greetings.
Yeah,
yuh read it right.. doh fix it.. Ah talkin’ ‘bout all de
commesse goin’ on in international cricket.
Man, we was shock tuh hear how de Sout’ African captain get ketch
wit’ he han’ in de pie… boy, yuh
coulda knock meh dong wit’ ah fedder!
Some people say after dey lick we tail in South Africa (5-0
an’ den 6-1), dey wish dey did fix dem matches! At least we
woulda have ah excuse!
But
now is like is only de tip of de iceberg we was seein’.. ah hear is Pakistan
an’ India in de brew too. It
so bad in Pakistan, dey even release ah report from ah judge who investigate de
t’ing over dey an’ recommend dat dey ban some players for life… imagine
dat!
Man, dey coverin’ up as t’ough is winter…… India check de
horns an’ fin’ like it have traitor on board too… hmm….
Sometimes wey have cattle does still have goat!
Now is big meetin’ of de international body nex’ month.. Boy,
even I ah little scared too.. ah hope dey eh call we name, but ah feel ah know
meh boys better dan dat, eh.
An yuh see what does hurt so much is dat men does pay so much money from de ticket an’ bawlin’ deyself hoarse at dem games supportin’ dey team. An’ nex’ t’ing de outcome already plan…. dat does turn off supporters man…dey playin’ yuh for ah damn fool (or worse!).
An
doh feel dem l’il US$10,000 is what does t’row de game… dat is what dey
tell yuh dey gettin'… dem fellas does make plenty more dan dat jus’ playin’,
so doh take dat bait, yuh go get hook. Is big money passin’…. cricket is secon’ only tuh
football in de world.
But at anodder level, if cricket so popular, why dem fellas does have tuh be scruntin’ so when dey leave de game…like de money only tricklin’ dong to de players.. Yuh know I sure if cricket use tuh pay big salary like some odder sports we woulda see more an’ better players comin’ tuh play. Ah mean, look at how much confusion it cause when de WI team demand ah raise before dey went South Africa…
People
say dat is not de way tuh go, buh remember dat ah couple years ago, de US
didn’t have ah baseball season because of ah strike, an’ de NBA wasn’t
backward de nex’ year…yeah man, we
have tuh pay de boys, especially dong dis side when dey pick yuh up, play yuh
for ah series an’ den drop yuh like ah hot potato.
Playin’ cricket for WI is like walkin’ ah tightrope.. one miss an’
yuh dogs dead!
Finally!.. at las’! Heaven be praised! Common sense manage tuh squeeze into some people head (an’ it had ah hard time ah could tell yuh!). Dey finally goin’ tuh do somet’ing about dem pitbull beast dat does masquerade as dog….
I never see t’ing so… people get kill, de dogs usin’ poor l’il chilren as chewing gum, de dog even eatin’ an’ killin’ odder dogs, police have tuh shoot dem, an’ not for hell dem politicians wouldn’t act.
Ah nearly dead (an’ ah nearly kill de man too!) when ah hear ah pitbull trainer say las’ year… “is not ah problem…if de dog rush yuh, doh move, jus’ stan’ an’ say in ah loud voice ….STOP!”….”
Yuh believe de man say dat an he eh even smile…?! I didn’t know de dogs used tuh understan’ English (so why dey ban dem in England?).An’ tuh add insult to injury when de government introduce de Dangerous Dogs Bill (dis applies only to de four legged species…!) de Opposition eh support it…..?! Well dis week like yuh know what hit de fan, so dey pass it an’ yuh have tuh neuter dem, buy insurance, cyah import, keep dem on yuh premises only, etc…..
When man see fines so, de rushin’ tuh put dem tuh sleep,
because it cheaper….. Of course yuh know what was de
delay…? Some big boys have pitbull an’ dey fin’ dey mus’
keep dem, regardless of who get eat… if de dogs eat people, dey helpin’
keep de population dong, an’ is less money for dem tuh spen’ on dog food….
so everybody benefiting… so dey cyah understan’ why we so unreasonable…
FREE AT LAS', FREE AT..... OOPS!.
Of course alyuh hear about how 3 (not 1, not 2….) convicted killers on Death Row escape from de Port Of Spain MAXIMUM security prison? Well t’ank goodness dey ketch dem.. well done police!
De fellas bus’ out, jump in a car, change clothes an’
was headin’ for Venezuela ah hear…. De police who ketch dem use dey
own resources (dey didn’t have no police vehicles available…. now dat eh
t’ing tuh get yuh so-an’-so vex?!) an’ eh even fire ah shot (actually, dey
fire one tuh stop d' vehicle)… Dey get a couple hundred dollars
for ketchin’ convicted killers… is bes’ dey did play whe-whe… dey woulda
come out better…dat is ah incentive? An’
yuh wonder why dey takin’ bribe?
Anyway, tuh continue…. de fellas use ah hacksaw (in 3 different cells, an’ dey not suppose tuh be able tuh reach each odder?!) get bedsheets, scale de wall an’ gone, an’ is only some hours later ,ah t’ink, dey realise dey gone…de officers insist it wasn’t ah inside job!
So hacksaw blade is ah part of dey daily diet? An’ dey suppose tuh check on dem every ten minutes… dem boys fas’… Jeezan peas! So now de say dey eh want de Asst. Police Commissioner tuh sit on de case because he bias… he say he feel it was ah inside job…(ah wonder why?)…
An’ dey ent want dey report made public because it go affect de security in de prison….. nonsense!
All yuh have tuh do is blank out certain parts of de report as confidential or restricted. We jus’ want tuh know who was responsible an’ wat steps go be taken tuh ensure it eh happen again..dat is all…like dey forget is we taxpayers money goin’ in dey salary?
Yeah, dat is how ah have tuh spell it because Papatrick Maddening causin’ meh real discomfort….
Now Manday decide he visitin’ every constituency before election…. Papatrick decide he doin’ dat too. Like he always one step behin’…. but check out dis set up…de man gone up Laventille an’ tell de people dat WHEN de PNM (Papatrick’s National Movement) returns to power dat he would reward Laventille for its faithfullness to de party..
Yuh know for de past 40 years dey always vote PNM… oh shucks ah shoulda tell alyyuh dat Laventille is one of de most socially depressed areas in Trinidad….. but ah suppose dat was part of de reward for supportin’ de PNM.
Now de man promising more reward….. girl, pick up yuh skirt an’ run! If after 40 years he now rememberin’ you… what yuh expeck in de nex’ five? An’ he gone further.. he say dat while dey asleep, he awake t’inkin’ (…of what ah wonder?) Because if dat go be he campaign style, is bes’ he get some bed rest! Ah mean you could imagine what de uproar dat woulda take place if Manday did say he go reward Couva for never votin’ PNM?
Oh gosh man Papatrick…come better dan dat… yuh tryin’ tuh buy out people now wit’ promises of sweetie afterwards? Act, yes, act like ah statesman.. if yuh cyah be one, act nah, act! Dis is openin’ rounds of de fight man, yuh guard suppose to be up…!
Manday already invite Clinton former campaign manager (Carville) to be in he corner, an’ Baksh resignin’ from Cabinet (it have enough wood lice in dat cabinet!) tuh lead de charge, so brudder, if yuh eh look sharp, it go be ah quick fight... Manday by de knockout route an’ all ah we go go home early…..!
Ah mean, when I feelin’ shame fuh yuh, t’ings bad!
An’ ah fin’ de West Indies Cricket Board coulda show ah l’il more respeck dan tuh put de final One Day match on Easter Sunday. We could do better dan dat….! Leh we give respect wey repect is due! Yuh eh go see me in de oval on dat day, brudder….
An’ here nah, take ah l’il time tuh reflect an’ remember, an’ most of all stop tellin’ de chilren dat Easter is about de Easter bunny an’ Easter egg…alright? De only t’ing we does do wit’ rabbit here is eat dem…an’ egg is for we macaroni pie for Sunday lunch.
Buh leh dem in on ole tradition of de Good Friday bobolee, an’ de tales of if yuh bathe in de sea on Good Friday yuh go turn into ah fish…(he,he, he…). Even de imported one of the hot cross bun (ay.. ah have tuh get meh supply today, yes…..oh gorm..). An’ remember no matter what yuh go t’rough it have someone who went t’rough more…an’ keep on goin’ we go see de light eventually…. alyuh keep de faith.. an’ remember, love go always conquer…. ah gone..!
Dat’s all for dis week folks… t’anks for all de write
ins to TNN…. ah go hail out some ah alyuh nex’ week… de Cobra feelin’
like ah king dese days… J
An’ remember, any queries, comments, questions,
ole talk, greetings… etc., sen’ dem to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com
Until nex’ week, ah gone….. check out dis one from Rootsman for de
Easter
.....What
we need is love ,
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