TNN 44

Hello again folks.. comin’ to you live from de sunny south Caribbean …. (deep voice)… . This is TNN…..  Plaaaaay one for Winston Spree…. Plaaaaay one for George Bailey….! (Stalin.).. background music

SOS (SAVE OUR SOCA).............

Another year.. same t’ing… ah frighten tuh put on meh radio, an’ every time ah travel in ah maxi, de nonsense ah hearin’ does make meh want tuh walk…! 

Look nah, de nex' person who tell meh tuh wave, jump, put meh han’ in de air or count tuh four (like dey cyah go higher dan dat..)…. ah go WAVE dem off de stage, JUMP UP an’ put some hard slap on de singer, PUT Meh Han’ In De Air as ah pelt ah rotten mango at dem or give dem until Ah Count TO Four to sing somet’ing sensible…

Oh gosh, man try for some originality, nah…!   You would t’ink dem young boys would come out wit’ somet’ing new an’ mash up de place…but is like eatin’ stale curry…. it does make yuh move…. fas’ !  

Small man, not because de song have tempo mean it cyah have lyrics..   Remember Bassman in de Seventies… Bahia Gyul in the 80’s an’  Get Somet’ing And Wave (about the coup) in de 90’s..?   Look ah could call at least ah dozen more, but ah go run out of space…

Check meh out…is one WHOLE year yuh have tuh t’ink about music, melody, lyrics…. ah eh bein’ greedy.. jus’ ONE good song .. ah beggin’…    If I was in charge of ah recordin’ studio, yuh t’ink you coulda get me to record dem two line, two cord song…?   Man, as yuh start, ah turnin’ footballer… is only kick ah peltin’ at yuh…! 

Dat is disrespect to de artform..  Ah hearin’ dat it have some fellas who comin’ good dis year, but dey cyah afford tuh record….. so how come de odder stupidness gettin’ money to record…?    How come in de lan’ of Calypso, Steelband, chutney, parang an’ all kinda hybrid music, de government NEVER invest in ah state of de art recording studio, but every fly by night scheme dey have money for…is dese strugglers we suppose tuh encourage..  why ah have tuh go to ah tent tuh hear it , an’ never hear de song again for de rest ah meh life, except in ah bad, scratchy  live recordin’… is more dan time tuh get serious wit’ dis t’ing….

We owe it to weself an’ de nex’ set comin’ up…. but maybe ah bein’ ah little premature.. maybe as de season go along it go get better… we go see…    De Cobra go take ah wine by de time (ay-ay…ah mean ah home made pomerac wine… why alyuh min’ so low, boy….?) an’ listen…

AH TIRED, GIMME A SEAT NAH.....!

Well like de Senate was full las’ week because two senators (from Tobago) show up an’ it didn’t have no seat for dem….!  Jus’ so..! When de mark bus’ , is because dey geh fire an’ dey say nobody eh inform dem..! Oh Gaaaaaaad ! Is really Carnival…. bacchanal in de place…! 

Wade M(B)ark , Minister of Government Business (well, like he wasn’t mindin’ he business, because he was suppose tuh inform dem..) say he inform one ah dem de day before an’ de nex’ one he didn’t get ah chance…. so you go inform somebody one day before…wha’ happen, yuh jus’ get up dis mornin’, stretch an’ say… "ah boy, dis ah good day to fire two Senator"…? 

Alyuh mus’ ah decide some time before.. an’ plus to dat , you mean tuh tell meh you eh know no number tuh contact de Senators or someway tuh leave ah message…?   Tobago so faaaaarrr from Trinidad?   Yuh cyah reach two people, but alyuh go run ah country….? 

An’ hear de excuse… de Senators didn’t vote wit’ de government on de Tourism Bill, so dey discipline dem…de Senators say dey vote accordin’ tuh dey conscience because de Tobago House of Assembly suppose to be consulted because dey in charge of Tourism in Tobago… 

Oho!  So alyuh want tuh play bad…?!  Well, take dat..!  Turn ‘round…!  Buff.. kick!  Ah eh hire alyuh tuh t’ink…ah hire alyuh tuh follow orders…. we eh want nobody wit’ conscience here!   De only person who suppose tuh t’ink is de Party Leader (well… am.. yuh eh t’ink is about time he start…i s more dan four years now, yuh know..!). 

An’ if dat wasn’t enough, de Senators was from de NAR side in de coalition government, an’ dey eh even tell de NAR people ‘bout it….   Wade Bark is really Top Dog, boy…Woof! Woof!   De message clear.. either tow de line or we sendin’ yuh shoppin’ for some footwear an’ fresh air… Cement shoes an’ ah boat ride…!

ONLY AH / IN TRINI....

Yep, de Cobra look aroun’ an see some t’ings dat make ah Trini (or Trinidad) stand out…. 

Yuh ever notice dat we potholes have strategic position….?  No?  Well, yuh not observant man… if yuh comin’ out from ah minor to a major road or vice versa, de pothole always on de corner so yuh have tuh swing into de lane of de oncomin’ car or mash up yuh springs…. ah feel is dem garage people  who does come an’ put dem dey….

When dey pavin’ road, dey does jus’ t’row new pitch on top of de ol’ one, eh botherin’ tuh smooth out or put ah proper foundation..   De road does start tuh fall apart in 3 months so dey come back an’ t’row more pitch again until de ROAD higher dan de PAVEMENT… look ah eh jokin’…!    It have ah road dat ah does have tuh make big jump tuh reach  de main road from de curb…!   An’ of course, de manhole stayin’ same level, so every new road have one big sink in it wey de manhole is…ah impromptu pothole….!

Yuh ever hear ah Trini ask for somet’ing in ah bar…..?   Hear de language… "gimme ah Cokes dey" (which mean he want one, eh..!), but if he want more dan one…..  "gimme 2 Coke dey"…

Yuh see ah man wit’ ah sports car lookin’ like ah movie star…. de only t’ing is de sports car so close to de ground dat dey cyah get over de speed bumps in de road….. an’ de only roads yuh could race on, have dem "jumbie" potholes which wasn’t dey yesterday, but appear overnight, so yuh go mash up all yuh shocks when yuh hit it goin' ninety….!

We invent ah cure for hookworm, ringworm.. any kinda worm….   Pass by ah rumshop an’ ask dem fellas… "Boy, ah good drink ah rum necessary tuh kill de worms"…   In odder words, dis eh ah rumshop, dis is ah health clinic….!   An’ dem stupid doctors does sen’ people in de drugstore…. !