TNN 43
Hellllooooooo dey folks.. de Cobra back again in 2000… ah was sick like ah dog an’ lookin’ like ah wet frizzle fowl from Christmas Eve till Dec. 28th, so ah was a l’il late wit’ de postings… but ah back in de saddle now…. and of course… (deep voice)… This is TNN….. Heaven knowsssssss.. ..all ah want is Rose.. oh Lord… oh Lord, oh Lord..(Sparrow)
AS IT WAS IN DE END, SO IT WAS IN DE BEGINNING.............
Of course de Cobra was awake to see the 2000 come in…yeah man, how yuh mean…! An’ by de way, de Cobra is one of dem maths men who believe de 3rd Millenium A .D. go start on Jan 1st 2001, as will de nex’ century, so sorry tuh spoil de fun, but yuh know TNN is about facts..
Anyway de point of de story.. remember las’ year we waste real money on pavin’ Savannah, holdin’ Miss Universe pageant, payin’ politicians dey salary (dat one hurtin’ meh still….), an’ in Tobago de man heself Hochoy Charles (Charlo) gi’ we money to ah firm which end up in court in de US…?
Well, Charlo gone again
like ah wild horse (ah really mean tuh say de cousin of ah horse, but de Cobra is ah
respector of office…), an’ spend (cork
yuh ears…) $41M dollars to get BBC tuh show Tobago in de Millenium (well
pre-Millenium) Show around de worl’, sayin’ how it go bring tourists here…..
Now tell meh somet’ing, you see ah fella jumpin’ up singin’ calypso, an’ playin’ ah 2 minutes ah pan, an’ you go decide tuh go to de bank an’ pay for ah plane ticket tuh Tobago… like you have ah money tree in your backyard…?!
Brudder, de tourists who wanted tuh come was already dey, an’ furthermore, why when de people see X number of countries performin’, Tobago go stick in dey mind? Eh? Why?! Why?! Why?!
An’ tuh rub peeper in de cut, after dis big bang (oh, dey call de concert ah RingBang concert.. which is ah term for B’dos music, but we spendin’ TnT money.. yes man, we good fuh days), den what? What is de tourism programme tuh support dis grand openin’….. eh’heh.. not a damn t’ing in place…!
Eddy Grant come from B’dos (a major tourist island wey he couldn’t sell de idea… Hmmm, what does dat say?) an’ ring in de New Year in Tobago wit’ heself on stage, not ah Trini, no… after all, is he show an’ he money, ent?!
Yeah, as we leave de las’ year, we start off dis one…. ah tell people already de only t’ing different in 2000 is dat de year have 3 zero in it, yuh know… man before midnight is same man after midnight…. so de Millenium party turn out to be ah Million faux pas….Happy New.. sorry… Old Year..!
WI (WE) LOSE.....
(An’ now folks we
give you a video of an earlier event dis week…) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It cyah be…!
Say it ain’t so…..! Dis one go take meh tuh de grave!
Alyuh lyin’..! Alyuh lyin’..! BIDDIP! (dat was De Cobra passin’
out after he hear de news of de cricket, he is now restin’ comfortably)…..
7- 0! Not one match we eh win….?! 2 Tests an’ 5 One Days… de only t’ing dey test was de heart of WI people who had de guts tuh watch it on TV…. an’ against New Zealand.. ah mean, alyuh..WHO is New Zealand?
De only t’ings NZ famous for is sheep an’ butter… which ah suppose explain everyt’ing…. because de WI was like lambs to de slaughter an’ we melt like good butter under de NZ attack….
Lara an’ Campbell try ah l’il t’ing, but when de tide turn brudder, is save yuhself…. Every defeat was worse dan de las’ one…an’ in de final match, if yuh see man get ketch out… sonny boy, if yuh doh hit de ball in de air, yuh cyah get caught…! Yuh have tuh go to cricketin’ academy for dat?
But dey lucky is cricket an’ dis is de West Indies…if dis was Brazil or Columbia an’ foootball, dey done dig 11 grave already…. ah mean, not even ONE game tuh salvage ah little pride..? At de rate dey goin’ is bes’ we sen’ 'DEM BOYS' team who does play cricket in de savannah by me to represent we…. as least we eh go expect dem tuh win….
If we was in ah hole, was bad enough, but take it from me, dey already t’row dirt on we.. de only t’ing lef' is de tombstone….Wen NZ finish wit’ we, man lookin’ below dey foot tuh fin’ WI pride.. big fellas beat up like little boys…dey hangin’ dey head like dey neck too weak tuh support dem..was like de ol’ Roman games…. big, big crowds cheerin’ an’ makin’ noise, while de helpless get slaughtered in de arena (dat was ah nice piece ah prose, eh?)..
Ah too weak tuh talk about wat tuh do now.. an’ ah tired talk about it too…jus’ bring de fellas home…gi’ dem ah res’…. Oh, ah have ah riddle for yuh… what yuh call ah West Indian supporter?
An eternal optimist !
COBRA AWARDS....!
It kinda late, so ah go
only give alyuh a few of de awards dat was given by the TNN Association (de Cobra Awards)
to deservin’ Individuals for de year (since ah decide dat de century an’ de
Millenium startin’ nex’ year, ah go give alyuh de Millenium an’ Century
Awards nex’ year).. so here goes….
BOBOLEE OF DE YEAR…..
Papatrick Mannin’ was in contention again, as he was de winner las’ year, but he was firmly beaten by a newcomer…. may I have de envelope… yes, Mr. Adesh (Adotish) Nanan.. our former education Minister..When teachers protest dat dey was gettin’ beat by dey students (take yuh licks like ah man!) an’ dat some schools eh good for donkey shed, an’ den protest (which is dey civil right), de Minister threaten to "discipline" de thousands of dem…
Yes, we had ah abestos problem in schools, de minister say is ah PNM plot (ah suppose de PNM put it dey 15 years ago knowin’ dat he woulda be in office)..
Leh we eh forget leavin’ ah school conference (after reachin’ late) tuh go to ah football openin’ ceremony..
Den dey had tuh put one setta schools under guard because of security an’ every day is ah break in….
No, I eh done, when schools open in September repairs eh done yet (he mus’ be forget school does open in Sept….den again, perhaps he use tuh go tuh school in August… an’ recess!) an’ chilren cyah go, tuh say nuthin of overflowin’ sewer an’ odder health problems…..
When dey move de man from Education, people say dey shoulda move him, because he, most of all need Education (alyuh mout eh good, yuh know!) …yes, t’inkin’ about Adesh is enough tuh give yuh ah headache..so BOBOLEE OF DE YEAR AWARD for him.. !
MOST TRYING POLITICIAN….
Dis award goes to Danny 'Winer Boy' Singh…. definitely de most tryin’ politician…VERY Trying….on people patience…!He tell de Opposition he (Danny) wife good in bed (leave out de expletives)…. he an’ de Muslimeen in cahoots, an’ he have dem as guards in URP office…
He tell de country he doh beat he wife, den he wife sell him out…
He get up on ah platform an’ wine like ah ball ah twine in front de crowd…
De Muslimeem take two fellas from he office (kidnap) drive dem away in ah car an’ put some good blows on dem…he eh do nothin’….
He gone drinkin’ an’ drivin’ home in ah government vehile an’ run off de road….
Money from one corporation going to pay for work in another area.. an'’de Oppositiion councils only complainin'’dat dey starvin’ for funds, but no investigation...
He cuss up ah head of ah local council…
He say URP eh have no corruption (ghost gangs), but ah fellow who in de UNC council send letter tuh him statin’ dat it have plenty corruption..
An’ Panday say dat is he most hard workin’ Minister.. ah quite agree... de only problem is he workin’ hard an’ odder people getting’ tired…of Him! Take de award, Mr. Minister….!
MOST INSIGNIFICANT POLITICIAN….
Dat easy.. Papatrick Manning…. he makin’ Panday look like ah genius.. Panday takin’ senior people from he party an’ givin’ dem jobs.. corruption in ah rage in contracts.. an’ Papatrick cyah do nuthin’ bout it….Well Not done, Papatrick…yuh always in de runnin’ for somethin’…!
POLITICIAN OF DE YEAR…..
Dis award goes to de politician who really try to do some good.. a couple in de running, but by far meh choice is Kamla Persad Bissesar..Kammy have it down cold….she hustle t’rough legislation, fix de abestos problem in she Ministry, shaping up t’ings in de Red House with computers…always have ah smile, does talk sense.
When dey put she in Education…she solve de abestos problem, she drafting code for teachers so dat dey could get pay for dey qualifications, tryin’ tuh get incentives for teachers tuh stay in teaching an’ helpin’ students tuh achieve..
She name never call in no baccahnal, an' when she talk, she verb and subject does agree (no mean feat in dese parts…!)..
Well done Kammy…. !
BIG T’INGS AH GW’ON (GO ON)....
(read in a Jamaican accent)Alyuh eh see de dread Prophet get Album of de Century from Time Magazine…?
Yeah mon… Bob Nestor Marley…for he album Exodus….(One heart, One love…)…. look t’ing!
Big up de Trenchtown star….’im ah de bes’….. (Exodus….Movement of Jah people)…. de man who sing ‘bout de high an’ de low, for de downpressed…ha fe stan’ up to Babylon.. who a’ make we dance an’ sing…. ’im ah sing we Redemption sangs (songs)…. ’im who say never bow (get up.. stand up….. stand up for yuh right..)…. who ah say, look to above for de final deliverance…(..a pity on those who chances grow thinner..… there is no hidin’ place from the Father of Redemption…)….
All Hail Bob! An’ remember no matter wat ah come….
Don’t worry ‘bout a t’ing …
Cause every l’il t’ing’s gonna be alright….
Dat’s all for now folks… enjoy 2000…. an’ any queries, comments, questions, ole talk etc.., jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com
Hail out to de Washington D.C. posse! Ah go see alyuh for de Carnival 2000 …. de real year 2000 Karnival!).. Peace, ah gone…! Las’ train to San Fernando… Las’ train to San Fernandooo…..(background music)
The web editor would like to extend birthday
greetings tuh de Cobra and would also like to wish him a happy and healthy Y2K
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