TNN 38
Hello folks … (Deep voice….) ..This is TNN….. Ah went awayyyyyy… ah leave an’ come back home…ah come back tuh stayyyyy…… (background music)
PAKISTAN STAGES COUP.....
Nah, I eh talkin’ ‘bout de military t’ing dat happen dis week, is de cricket match on meh mind. Look nah, dem boys come from nowhere, an’ nex’ t’ing yuh know…. dey take over de game an’ we lookin’ for ah hidin’ place tuh put we shame (it go have to be ah real big hole, boy!).
Brudder dey score 261 runs off dey 50 overs and we make some paltry score of 130 or somet’ing so. We eh even las’ de 50 overs, all out for less dan 35 overs. Hear nah man, ah see boiled macaroni stan’ up longer dan dem las’ 5 wickets … 5 wickets for 16 runs…. if meh heart wasn’t good, all now alyuh readin’ de obituary for de Cobra.
Of course we young boy Powell try he bes’, 36 runs in 36 balls, but he was ah l’il rash in de end…. de man come dong de pitch, an’ swing he bat as though he intend tuh “le-le” de ball. One big almighty swing… if he did pick up wit’ dat ball, it woulda end up in India…. but unfortunately de ball stay in Pakistan…. right on he wicket!
Campbell try ah t’ing, but it wasn’t enough., an’ who could forget Laro de Captain. One ball he hit for four, what ah stroke, pure class…. crowd applauds (well done ol’ chap!).. an’ de next ball dat come, come wide off de wicket… yuh woulda need ah binocular tuh see dey ball if yuh was battin’ … an fus de ball far from de wicket.. Laro give ah voop! He use de footwork of ah statue.. Zero! none! He jus’ stretch an’ heave…if he did go any further he woulda t’row he back out…tryin’ tuh hit de ball into 2000…
Hmmm, well like de ball wasn’t Y2K compliant, because it only reach de wicketkeeper, an’ meh boy was on he way tuh ah early shower…. in fact, he coulda wear de same clothes nex’ match, because ah sure dey eh get dirty! He wasn’t dey long enough…
An’ to make sure de milk sour, Adams tear some ligaments or somet’ing, so he cyah bat.. Dat fellla need ah bush bath… He goin’ S. Africa, he cut de tendons in he han’ wit’ ah knife; World Cup, he get he head bus’; now he mash up he tendons…. He mus’ be like hospital food or he trackin’ ah nurse….
Well, leh we wait
an’ see wat happen nex’ match, ah mean we beat Sri lanka easy, so it still have
hope (Laro real get on in dat match boy…wat he eh hit is wat dey eh bowl..!). So doh hol’ yuh head an’ bawl jus’
yet, but prepare yuh vocal cords jus’ in case……
INVEST(IGATE) IN TOBAGO....
Well, ah small scandal break out in Tobago…. Hochoy Charles (Charlo) who was talkin’ some kinda secession talk, an’ complainin’ dat gov’t eh givin’ dem money, an’ havin’ Tobago House of Assembly (THA) cheque bouncin’ like rubber, get squeeze in ah corner…
Apparently de man take $13M dollars an’ invest in ah venture/company, an’ now de company tie up in ah Miami court , wit’ we money to boot!
Me eh know who
Charlo ask ‘bout de investment…. all we know is dat t’ings turn ole
mas….Wit’ dat money, we coulda build ah bridge from Trini to Tobago (he!he!he!).
Dem boys doh hear… ask first, is not your money….. ah could
jus’ imagine it..
Marry in haste, repent at leisure…. if zandolie is good meat, why it so common? T’ink man, t’ink…. anyway, trust de Cobra tuh keep yuh informed on de developments as dey occur… LOOORRRDDD, when we go learn….!?(Yankee acksent, actually de fella is Irish, but wat de hell, same t’ing)
“Hey, Charlo, why don’t you en-vest in this here compeny, man? It’s a good deal, mehn,. Why, even mah mema has her money in it.”“Eh-heh! Fuh true, boy…oh gormm…., tanks, boy, tanks… yuh is ah real good fella… look, take ah $13M for now…! But doh tell nobody eh!”
GIVE AH ACCOUNT....
Wat…hef finish?! Dat was it?! Wha’ de hell went on dey…?! Fella, dat is all yuh hearin’ when we Minister of Finance, one Quiet Tongue (Kuei Tung), finish he Budget speech Friday..
Man eh know whether tuh laugh, cry, remain serious…. people bazodee. De man start off by sayin’ dis was a buget for de Millenium (which one?) an’ ah blueprint for development…. ra.. ra. ra…ra.. de usual t’ing.
He eh increase taxes, licenses, nothin’, but at de same time we eh sure what he really do.. Now tuh my little mind, if yuh planning, ah have tuh see some kinda strategy, policy, programme.. yuh know wat ah mean….
Check out Quiet Tongue… more vehicle for Police an’ better equipment (dis week, de police in Police Hqt., de nerve centre of de Police Force leave dey job,because de air conditioning system break dong again.. dey say dem is not chips, so why dey mus’ fry….?, cockroach makin’ grandchiren’ in de buildin’, toilets in ah state … pit latrine suddenly lookin’ good!……).
But wat about maintenance? Is not ah wind up toy! After yuh put somet’ing dong yuh have tuh maintain it…. Oh, dey buildin’ more school again….. dis week, ‘bout 5 schools close dong because sewer overflowin’, buildin’ condemn, people breakin’ in an makin’ mas…. yuh ever taught tuh budget for upkeep? If he have chilren, ah hope he do de same t’ing wit’ dem…..
An’ doh forget Health…more health centres etc… How about BETTER health care… ah mean if you was ah businessman an’ you spendin’ billions of dollars on dem basic services, you woulda be satisfied wit de results? No, you woulda have tuh shape up or resign, so why we mus’ suffer when WE tax dollars payin’ for it?
What about poverty, unemployment, trade development, informatics (no, “ah computer in every home” is not ah policy). What we expect tuh see for de years ahead? How much doctor, lawyer? What kinda industries, educational reform...... nothin?! Nada, none, zilch?!
All de man really say is dat he go take money an’ pay bills, hopefully oil go be worth somet’ing nex’ year….. Breds, if yuh jus’ add on tuh yuh house, doh maintain it, eh take out no insurance atal, wat yuh go do wen times get rough? Yes, dat is wat we does call “CONTINGENCY planning” (better I apply for de job, yes….). Anyhow, he say was ah blueprint, at least he get de blue part right, because ah vex till ah blue….!
FREEIN'
WILLIES......
Ah surprise we eh make CNN dis week…. about 25 pilot whales beach deyself in Manzanilla, but we manage tuh get 13 or so ah dem back out after much trouble…
If yuh see people
on de beach. Easily ah couple thousand.. mos’ ah dem comin’ tuh do
wat Trinis does do bes’…gape! Dem scientists say maybe dey was
followin’ ah lead male an’ maybe de male get disoriented an’ de res’
follow… some people say dat is wat does happen when yuh follow man, or let dem
lead…!
When ah see people so, ah was wonderin’ if dem had jobs, tuh find deyself on de beach early mornin’ tuh mako whales… But ah was proud ah dem people eh boy… dey form bucket brigade, dey heave and push dem back out, dey swim alongside tuh make sure de whales get back in de ocean, people even cryin’ when de whales dem dead.
It make meh heart feel good… but ah was t’inkin’.., if we could do dat for whale, why we cyah do dat for each odder boy…? If yuh see ah neighbour in ah l’il hangup, help out little bit, nah, stay alongside people, gi’ dem ah l’il push when dey goin’ astray… yeah man we have it in we, leh we show it more often, ah fin’ …how yuh like dat talk?
But ah sure all dem whales dat survive, eh go forget Trini in ah hurry boy, when las’ dey get so much hug up, an’ nice talk, an lif’ up an’ t’ing…. yeah man, we treat dem good…! Ah sure dey talkin’ ‘bout we all over de Caribbean…. nex’ t’ing yuh know all kinda whale want tuh beach deyself here…!
That’s all for
dis week folks…. have a good weekend..and remember any queries, comments, questions,
ole talk, or general write in, send it to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com
ah gone, Later….
Rum an’ coca cola, goin’ dong Point Cumana…(background music).
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