Now, it look kinda bad, eh..  in front ah all dem delegates, two l’il Caribbean islands fightin’ like two yardfowl… but if alyuh want tuh know where de Cobra stan’ ah t’ink ah go have tuh give dis round to “De Kid”.    Check de scenario… yuh cyah really conduct proceedings if yuh tuh close to de issue… dat is why judges an’ dem people does step dong if dey know people in ah case personally, etc.,  It eh have nothin’ to do wit’ whether yuh fair (or dark! Kiff, kiff, kiff!) or not…t’ings mus’ look clean.

Nobody mus’ be able tuh say yuh use yuh influence or anyt’ing…. But ah unnerstan’ Hecks position eh… ah mean look at de government de fella come from… everybody family, fren, nex’ door neighbour an’ de dog does get favours from big boys.. so how yuh expeck Hecks tuh understan’ concepts like “transparency” or “conflict of interest”, eh?

De same t’ing yuh mudder used tuh tell yuh… if yuh doh train yuhself tuh do t’ings right at home, one day yuh go embarrass yuhself…. which is why wit some people, yuh shouldn’t take dem outta dey livin’ room…  If dey goin’ out,  make sure it eh further dan de gallery! 

Now we embarrass weself  again.. but believe meh, dey eh go see it so.. yuh go hear how Bille like Hecks, but because he eh like she, she decide tuh get back at him, or some odder logical theory like dat, wait an’ see…!

DE AGONY OF DEFEAT....

5 outta 5 boy!   5 outta 6!   If was ah test in school yuh woulda be happy, but unfortunately, dat is how much matches we lose in Canada when we play India an’ Pakistan.   We jus’ finish beat dem in Singapore, an’ now blows like wind… an’ ah mean hurricane force, dred!  Not ah man left standin’….. de bowlers do dey job, but as usual de batsmen decide, wat de hell…is only ah game, an’ de quicker it finish, de more time ah have tuh see Canada. 

Now, ah not too upset eh, because in dese matches we try out some young boys an’ ah few ah dem look like dey have promise..so yuh cyah be too hard on dem..ebut wha’ happen tuh de “seasoned campaigners”?  Not ah note, boy?!   Nothin’?!   No sparks?!   Dat is de kinda example yuh showin’ ? 

An’ how come wen all dem young fellas come onto de odder teams, dey does catch on fas’?  Why we have tuh take years tuh break ah man in?  Me t’inks it have more in de pestle dan de mortar…. once dey eh go back to de mortuary an’ bring back Athurton and Simmons, etc… dem fellas play de part already, an’ we done mark de spot an’ put up de l’il tombstones “Former West Indies Cricketers”……

An ah nex t’ing, yuh could experiment, but doh go overboard nah…ah mean, one day ah fella openin’ de innins, next day (literally) he battin’ at number 6.  Now dem is two different positions… yuh require different strokes, temparament, style, trainin’ etc… yuh doh take ah man in ah fotball match an’ put him tuh play forwards, den midfield, den full back… yuh have tuh know from in front wey yuh want de fella.. if he conssitently fail dey, den yuh might try somet’ing else…but dey dere changin’ aroun’ fellas as though dey shufflin’ cards..   Yuh eh confusin’ de nex team yuh know.. yuh confusin’  yuhself….    Wen yuh too smart, yuh does fool yuhself….  Anyway dey headin’off  tuh de Far East nex, leh we see if de wisdom of de East go rub off on dem….

RIVER LIME TIME....

Well de EMA (Environmental Management Authority) dis week give notice tuh all dem “quarriers” dat dey better literally “clean up dey act” or face some fines. 

For years dem fellas jus’ washin’ de gravel an’ lettin’ de dutty water run in de river dem…   If yuh want tuh be ah artist, yuh eh have no problem yuh already have yuh “water colour”  (Oh gooooodd! Ah hit dem hard dey…kyah! kyah! kyah!) .

When yuh goin’ tuh cook, yuh eh need no brown sugar tuh give yuh meat colour, jus’ use de river water.  Fish lightin’ flambeaux tuh see whey dey goin’.. in daylight!   If yuh brave enough tuh use de water tuh cook, everyt’ing yuh eat have ah cruncy taste,  fus’ yuh eatin’ sand.   

De say if yuh want tuh play mud mass for J’ouvert, jus’ go up Valencia River, bathe an’ head for town, yuh easy…..  All dem bird dat use tuh get fish in de river dyin’ slow, because dey cyah see de fish tuh eat, an’ dey mashin’ up deyself runnin’ into rock in de river, since dey have tuh fly so low tuh make out anyt’ing in de water…. by de time dey look up…SPLAT!  an' dey hugging up ah big rock…  Some ah dem even getting’ cokey eye tryin’ tuh look for fish an’ look up for rock at de same time….

Ah mean, is about time we do somet’ing bout it man…. ah doh know how much dey go enforce it, because ah know Pt. Lisaa does good leggo poison in de Gulf an’ nobody doh do nuthin’… is alright, when de chemicals start tuh take effect, yuh go have fish growin’ foot or shark wit’ 3 eye an all kinda t’ing….. but ah supportin meh boys, is time man make ah river lime, bathe in de river, an eh have tuh bathe again wen dey go back home…..