TNN 34

Hello folks…(Deep voice) …this is TNN ….Wey yuh been las’ night Caroline, … Tell meh wey yuh been las’ night, Caroline….. (background music)

"REGIONAL" PROBLEMS.....

Well once again those darlin’s of local government, de regional co-operations (no-operations) is in de news:

Schools open again Monday (well, some ah dem…) but about 20 ah dem still close because repairs have tuh be done still…   Ah boy , suddenly school open in September an’  surprise everybody… yeah man , dey go be surprise when Christmas come on de 25^th December too….

Somebody in de Education Ministry say how dat is the role of de regional cooperations ….de regional cooperation in Diego Martin say dey dam lie… dey eh get no funds an’ dat was never dey job ..ah nex councillor in Grande say nah, de Ministry gi’ dem letter sayin’ so, so Diego must be read de letter sideways …..all dis time chilren goin’ tuh school in community centre and church builldin’   an’ even under people house like fowl (but dey did say education begin at home, right?)…but we shedding blame left, right an’ centre….

Of course de Minister of (Mis)Education is silent on de issue…like he take over from Quiet Tongue (Kuei Tung) ……but den again he shouldn’t have anyt’ing tuh say, because judgin’ from he las’ setta talk, he an’ education (or more correctly, common sense)  eh no fren’ …an’ it doh make sense senin’ he back tuh school, because like he cyah learn….

…Dong south, in Siparia Cooperation, nearly 8 weeks gone since the elections  an’ dey cyah assemble ah governin’ body yet… yuh make out de ole mas…?    Dey have tuh draw lots, den somebody say dat de man full name on de ballot paper so de vote invalid, an’ den somebody say de ballot papers deyself invalid, so dey gone to court, an den Danny “Winerboy” Singh say dat everybody who vote have tuh be present wen dey openin’ de ballot, so dey cyah read de ballots….so fight nearly break out an’  police had tuh escort people out.  

Now how de hell every other cooperation get correct ballot papers and dis one get leave out?   An’ why is Dannyboy dey chookin’ trouble?    Yes yuh in Local Gov’t, but any legal matter is for the Attorney General or Legal affairs (the Minister of which just happens to be the SIPARIA rep., so ah sure she could handle she stories…) 

An’ how come people eh know dat yuh cyah put ah man surname on de ballot paper an’ expeck it to be valid….?   Now if we cyah handle ah vote for a few people (is 8 WEEKS, ah say…!), how yuh expeck dem tuh run ah whole cooperation, especially if both side pullin’  an tuggin’?  

Wey de l’il  people in all ah dis?  De poor people who rub sleep outta dey eye, tuh come an’ stan’ up in line like refugee waitin’ for food, and dutty dey finger tuh vote for alyuh?    Dat is de kinda representation dey go get?   Everybody fightin’ tuh control ah l’il  piss-in-tail local gov’t body?  Man, ah woulda rest some bull pistle on dem! 

If yuh fightin’ on de honeymoon, yuh t’ink de marriage go las’ ?!     But ah suppose “monkey see, monkey do” eh?  Look at de odder setta dem in  Parliament… dey  settin’ any example?   But ah was hopin’ dese odders woulda show dem ah form, but ah was wrong …boy, is like trying tuh “produce constant rotary motion in unconsolidated sediment” (spinning top in mud) ..but de t’ing is ..is we does have have tuh clean up de blinkin’  mess afterwards….. 

PRIORITIES.....

Yuh know de sayin’ “cart before de horse”  or in the local case, “cart before de donkey”…..?   Well, we does also say, yuh t’inkin’ back tuh front or yuh t’inkin’ zig zag…….   check out de following…

Black out in Port of Spain because fire in de power station… turns out de Port of Spain General hospital back up generators not workin’…so patients in ICU have nurse with candle light and torch light pumping dem manually wit’ ventilators to keep dem alive…of course if dem patients was fully conscious dey woulda dead from fright…!

De TV crew gone tuh get pictures of de mess, de fella in charge of the North West Health vex…how come security so lax?!    Not how come people deading or why generator eh workin’ yuh know… ah suppose he t’ought current woulda never go, so dey eh have no need tuh have dem t’ings workin’ ?   He must be one ah dem stupid people who doh have ah spare tyre in he car (“Buh wha’ happen to you, boy… car does run on four tyre, not five”..) 

He say de generators mus’ be about 25 years old and need replacing, but dey expensive 1-2 M dollars a piece, so dey have tuh go to the IDB to get ah loan…. we cyah find 6M dollars tuh buy ah few generators….. well is bes’ we switch place wit Haiti…. ah mean we just pave ah Savannah for nearly 3M dollars for ah march pas’ an’ we cyah fin’ money for ah generator? 

We have ah $800M dollar airport goin’ an’ we goin’ tuh expand it, an’ we eh have no money… an’  speakin’ of dat airport, yuh ever go to de present small airport in Piarco?     Doh use de Ladies/Men rooms unless yuh have to… now if yuh cyah keep ah l’il airport clean and tidy, yuh go expand it?   In odder words “bigger is better” even if  bigger mean bigger mess…..

An' check de nex classic...ah group supportin' Carlo's pavin' de piece of Queen's Park Savannah callin' deyself POS (Pave our Savannah), not Clean Our Drains, or Equip Our Hospitals or even Pave our Roads....No!  Pave our Savannah!     Ah mean everybody does drive dey, an' dat is de bes' use of my tax dollars..  somebody lookin' tuh get ah roundhouse slap dis week, boy!

An’ movin’ right along… we had ah friendly match against Columbia in Miami 2 days ago (we blaze dem 4-3) an’ guess who went to de match…?   Noooo…not de Minister of Sport…… de Prime Minister!   Yes, de Prime Minister have time tuh go an’ watch ah football match, while in de las’ two weeks, bad drainage and flood waters take de lives of 3 l’il chilren!   An’ de rainy season eh done yet!   Dat is priorities eh? 

Like de only real priority we have remain’ here is de Bus Route…!

WINNING WINDIES....

Alyuh know ah couldna go without makin’ ah l’il comment on de las’ match we play against India in de Singapore Cup..   Well boy, ah didn’t watch de whole t’ing, eh, but it give de boy ah l’il  injection, yuh know what ah mean…? 

We had India on de ropes on de firs’ day an’ den rain come an’ save dem…dey decide tuh play over de match, which make meh vex…    Ah mean yuh givin’ dem boys ah nex’ life, man, just continue de match…suppose it did rain de nex’ day…we woulda go home witout ah result?…Dat make sense? 

Anyway we get Tendulkar out cheap…. ah hope he did walk with he seasoning, because he make ah big DUCK! - stew, curry or baked, take it whichever way yuh want, same animal….. J     Den we let India off de hook man, we shouldna let dem make so much man…den was we turn tuh bat…  boy ah nearly dead..! 64 for 4….!

Boy what Lara was t’inkin’ of going after dat ball…de ball wide an’ going about he merry way, de man reach out an’ drag it back on he stumps, as if tuh say “wey yuh goin’ ball , yuh suppose tuh out mih!”    De man middle stump an’ bail flyin’ like ah soucoyant…..  

An’ ah see we still persisting wit’ Adams, de man is an all rounder (wrongder)… he eh batting, bowling or fielding to any degree…  Just when we t’ought we was goin’ under, ah boy, in true West Indian style, we bounce back like ah rubber ball, we snap back like elastic an’ sting dem…!

Yeah man POWELL deal wit’ dem fallas… an’ de boy only 20 years yuh know… look nah, when he hit  was six, when he miss was four..  he show dem all de shots in de text book an’ den some… licks like fire, licks like peas…  Boy, man in de stands duckin’ from ball, people have tuh move dey car from de car park, ball fallin’ all over de place…..that was POWer, he grind dem into POWder….he make sawdust outta dem…like de ball comin’ large like ah grapefruit an’  in slow motion…POW! 

He beat de leather off de ball….! 124 runs, 7 fours and 7 sixes, wat ah display…. well done dred..an’ after dey treat de l’il fella so bad in de World Cup… de man first International game an’ de put him tuh OPEN,   facin’ up to de bes’ bowlers in de worl’ under conditions dat de fella never bat in…. he eh make runs in de firs’ match an’ dey drop him… dat is West Indies cricket (mis)management for yuh… Well,  let dem eat, drink an’ swallow dat now…! 

TRINI WINE....