TNN 31

Hello folks…(deep voice)..This is TNN…  Wen ah dead , bury meh clothes, tell nobody doh cry fuh me….  wen ah dead bury meh clothes..  put everyting in de cemetry…. (background music)

Public Service Announcement:   Due to shortage of staff at our bureau headquarters, TNN is a little shorter dis week….

GULF WAR.....

Yuh  know how we like tuh follow odder people… well, we have we own Gulf War goin’ on now (Gulf of Paria, ah mean).    Dem Venezuelan Coast Guard (Coast  Bad) stop some ah we fishermen, tie one up an’ throw him in de sea… if it wasn’t for one of  we Coast Guard vessels dey on spot, de man woulda be part ah de sea bottom all now.  

Buh how yuh could do dem kinda t’ing boy…. but before alyuh jump up like alyuh sittin’ dong on picka, leh meh tell yuh, some ah dem fishermen self tell me dat dey does go over on de “odder” side tuh fish eh… dey say sometimes dat dat is wey de fish dem is , especially de shrimps, an’ dey does try an’ beat de Venezuelan boat back.  

Yuh know, life hard…… after yuh eh ketch nuthin’ all night, yuh does feel tuh t’ief ah chance.   Well ah suppose de Payol an’ dem fed up, so dey does take out dey frustration on some ah dem… but at de same time man, yuh suppose tuh be ah law officer, not ah dam  pirate!  Yuh cyah treat people so… 

De Minister of Foreign Affairs say he goin’ across, an’ how he sen’ letter, an’ how de fishermen go get sen' home, but dey have tuh stay in Venezuela till dey pay de fine an’ al dat…. 

Yuh know de Cobra have ah solution to de situation, long time… why yuh t’ink snake does coil up for so long… wat yuh t’ink dey does be doin’?    Yes, man, t’inkin…. tinkin’…   De fishermen always say dey was on de Trini side ah de water, an’ de Guardia say dey does be on de odder side.   Now if we have joint patrols ent dat go solve de problem….?   

Ah mean have some Trini officers on de Venezuelan boats and some Payol on de Trini boats, so both sides could say whey de boat was exactly, an’ it go also stop all dat setta beatin’ up of we fishermen…ent?  But dem fellas too smart tuh see ah obvious t’ing like dat…..  An it eh now dis goin’ on yuh know… man get dey death from dis nonsense already…. an’ every 2 or 3 years dey signin’ new agreement… more like new Dis-agreeement if yuh ask me…. 

An’ de t’ing is ..if yuh see de size ah de Gulf, like ah big swimming pool, an’ big country fightin’  over ah l’il piece ah water….. of course we people eh have no problem wit’ Venezuela… we does go an’ buy clothes an’ shoe cheap dey an’ den come an’ sell it for a poung an’ a crown.   Every Christmas we eatin’ pastelle an’ singin parang (of course we does invent we own spanish words if we forget de original)..  an’ all ah we happy … why we cyah cooperate wen it come tuh ah l’il piece ah water?   Ah mean…. que paso  amigo?   Or in Trinidadianese…  wha’ goin’ on?    

AH CYAR TELL YUH DAT.....

Well, de Commission of Inquiry into Ram (de drug lord, king pin, czar, whatever yuh want tuh call him…we still t’rowin’ he tail in jail…) escape finish yesterday.   Like de Cobra did say, de State chief weakness eh testify, so it have plenty big men laughin’ now…. but de strangest t’ing happen dis week…  Ram say he eh talkin’ anymore because wat he say go bring dong plenty people… how come he so carin’ all of ah sudden? 

 Wen people was getting’ kill, an’ de young people life getting’ destroy, he wasn’t concern… but now all of ah sudden he is ah honourable fella an’ doh want tuh snitch on nobody…. amazin’ wat ah pay off could do , eh?    Tell dem I say so… yes money cause dat…an’ den ah Police Commissioner who dey call upon tuh testify say he ent want tuh say wat he know,  because it go be ah national Security risk…..   

Now how yuh expeck ordinary people tuh become government witness an’ you, ah commissioner eh want tuh testify in ah big drug case?   An’ tuh make matters worse, dat make sense tuh he… so if it have massive corruption, it bes’ tuh leave it so, rather dan  run de risk of “national security”..? 

Yuh doh t’ink national security more at risk if it have corruption?  It shoulda have ah law outlawin’ stupid people….. dat is like sayin’ doh tell de people ah storm comin’ because dey might panic… or doh tell ah man he have cancer  because he go get worried….. an’ dey wondering why de Police (Dis) Service in de state it in?  

De bes’ t’ing for fellas like dat is pre retirement leave……  Anyhow we await de results of dis new Inquiry… dey might fin’ Ram was providin’ employment an’  ensurin’ dat Police and Helath workers had jobs, so dey might decide tuh set he free and give him ah National Award… buh wha happen…?  Dat make sense to me….!

ONLY IN TRINIDAD....

Yuh know ah was checkin’out meh people dis week, an’ ah was askin’ mihself why certain t’ings does work (or not work) in a certain way, or  why we does behave in ah particular way… dig de scene…

Yuh ever see 3 police directin’ traffic at ah junction…..?   Go dong South Quay on Independence Square… one directin’ traffic..  de odder one stopin’ people from crossin’ while de traffic movin’ an’ anodder one lookin’ on.. tuh learn wat ah doh know…    Why dey doh just put in ah traffic light so all de lanes ah traffic  could flow easy…..?   Nah, dat go mean yuh have 3 police fightin’ crime or some odder unimportant t’ing … yuh know how it go…  priorities, man, priorities….!

Yuh travellin’ on ah maxi - yuh late…. Beeeeeeppp!   Somebody press de stop button…de maxi stop… de person takin’ dey time tuh get off an’ yuh grindin’….  De maxi start up again an’ 3 seconds later…. Beeeeeeppp!    Why?  De person want tuh drop-off on de odder side ah de junction, not “dis” side…. so yuh go dead if yuh have tuh cross de road? 

Yuh drivin’ dong de road cool, cool… suddenly ah car swerve on your side ah de road an’ yuh have tuh make ah hurry pull, an’ hope nobody eh on de curb, otherwise dey number call…..  Wat yuh t’ink.. yeah, meh brudder avoidin’ ah pothole an’ decide is better if all ah we dead rather than  he front wheel go in ah pothole…… dat is ah special kind ah logic….

Man does be deadin’ from ah col’  Friday mornin’,  he voice hoarse, he cyah make it tuh work… Friday night yuh bounce him up in ah fete…he decide tuh “sweat’ out de cold…..

Man does leave home an’ fly tuh New York an’ Canada fuh vacation,  an’ travel for hours on ah train tuh get wey he goin’, buh yuh ask him tuh drop yuh from Curepe tuh San Juan (4 miles…)… “Oh Lorse, boy, quite dey….!   Yuh puttin’ meh out man….. take ah taxi, nah”

That's it for dis week folks…..  Ah sailin’ wit de boat, sink or float , ah sailin wit de boat…..background music..