TNN 29
“Ay Cobra, wey
yuh was las’ week…….? And…..”
“One t’ing,
try an’ min’ yuh own business, nah…. wey ah was, ah was……
me eh
have tuh report tuh you…”
“But TNN…..”
“But what?
Ah man cyah take ah res’ now…. is only wuk, wuk, wuk,…so what..?
Ah is ah slave… an’ ah doh recall you payin’ meh for meh job…..”
“But dat eh de
point, dred, people expectin’… ”
“Ay, yuh see
ole talk, dat does gi’ me ah headache, an’
ah go have tuh swallow ah whole box ah Tylenol if alyuh continue…..”
“Yuh see why
me eh like tuh talk tuh he, he always have tuh get ignorant…”
“Wat yuh say
dey…..?!”
“Me?! You hear me say somet’ing…? Dem voices in yuh head actin’ up again or wat…?”
“Look , nah…..”
MUSIC, MUSIC……. Hello folks,..(Deep voice)…. this is TNN….. Ah say to mehself dis is meh las’ supper….. Ten to one is murder…..” (Background music….)
FLYIN' HIGH.....
Hmmmm, like dis one eh want tuh go away… it having some after effects like ah bad curry or ah stale pelau. Wha’ ah talkin’ ‘bout?… De airport contract for de expansion of we International Airport. Dey gone an’ gi ‘ de t’ing to ah “party financier”, only for investigation tuh reveal some bobol went on, so dey make ah pappyshow an’ stop de project, an’ den dey decide.. wha’ de hell….gi’ de man de t’ing anyway…who vex, lorse.
Now de have an international body callin’ for ah inquiry into de matter… ah talkin’ ‘bout nearly $200M or more de contract worth, yuh know…. an’ of course de ole talk start…. one say de project on schedule, anodder one say because of rain, t’ing stop…. some say money short… dey callin’ for President Robbie to appoint an nex’ Commission of Inquiry….Looorrrdd! How much inquirigation (dat is ah special kind ah inquiry!) dey have tuh do…? Eh?! De man help sponsor de rulin’ party campaign, he get ah big contract…you see any corruption in dat? Dey didn’t follow all de procedures because dey wanted tuh get de t’ing start quick.. we eh have time for all dis red twine (tape, if yuh is English).. dat is efficiency…
Ah fin’ people
too dam unreasonable in dis place… an’ on top ah dat everybody know dat every
plane go want tuh lan’ in Trinidad as
soon as we finish de t’ing..ent? Ent everybody know we..? Dey mus’,
after all, we host Miss Universe competition dis year..!
Okay , leh we get back tuh reality now…we inten’ tuh be de “gateway” to South America - dem boys sayin’…but why people go feel dey mus’ pass t’rough Trinidad to go South America? Dey could go Venezuela an’ continue from dey… an’ if we goin’ tuh attract so much business, wey we go put all dem people… we have hotel here for dem people (oh, ah forget Trump SUPPOSE to build one dong de islands..dat only about 25 miles from de airport….. dey might have tuh take an nex’ plane tuh reach dey…), an’ wat about de language barrier… mos’ ah dem Ministers cyah even talk English, dey go be de gateway for Spanish business….?
Look nah, de las’ survey show we “functional literacy” rate was 77%…. dat is madness! Almos’ one t’ird ah de population cyah function in English (ah sure dey go blame TNN for dat now… but me eh care…how ah talk, ah talk..!) …is Spanish we go learn… buh look on de bright side.. we go be bi-lingual… we go be able to talk 2 languages bad…!
Ah hear we even formin’ links wit’ Air India (de $30M we lose wit’ de Indian rice wasn’t good enough…we gone back…..) but doh stop dere…. wat about Air Kuwait, Korean Airlines, Hot Air… etc.. yeah man, once dey have wings let dem lan’.. we go figure out wat to do wit de passengers afterwards…. My t’ing is always start small an’ build from dey, expan’ little by little, but I eh smart like dem boys…. wit’ de new inquiry ah hope de airport project eh crash…because right now, t’ings ah little “up in de air”…..
EMERGENCY (NO) ROOM.....
Well, once again de Health sector eh lookin’ so healthy….. San Fernando Hospital have 3 people on ah bed, some in doctor office, trolley, everyt’ing formin’ bed now….. nurses start tuh sick out, medical technicians fed up….an’ dey say dey could only handle emergency cases… but ah hospital not suppose tuh handle emergencies….? Ah mean if yuh bounce yuh toe, yuh eh goin’ tuh de ER… if t’ings ah l’il bad, yuh go go to de Health clinic, is only emergency man does go to de hospital for….. so wat dey mean dey only handlin’ emergency cases….
Nurses say dey sick ah de situation, dey losin’ patien(ts)ce, an’ de administration eh operatin’ properly…plus tuh dat, England and Saudi Arabia t’iefin’ we nurses, an’ now dey threatenin’ tuh “discipline” anybody who decide tuh take industrial action….. yes man, bus’ dey tail if dey protest……who de hell dem t’ink dem is….?
Look, de nex’ time de PM or anybody in gov’t get sick, take dem straight to de hospital, no nursin’ home, no hospital abroad, nothin’ so…. if yuh have tuh dead, leh we kill yuh…. you is one ah we…. why everyt’ing mus’ reach crisis before we act? Is years now dis situation developin’…. every month dey takin’ out health surcharge and taxes for social welfare… an’ still no drugs (except coke and ganja) aroun’?
An’ dey have tuh look inside for some ah de problems too, yuh hear meh…? It have private doctors who wen yuh go in dey office yuh seein’ sheets wit’ hospital logo on dem…. like dem is ah wing of de hospital or wat? Tetanus drugs vanish (alyuh remember de poor fella who dead because dey couldn’t fin’ ah tetanus vaccine) an’ nobody cyah account for dem….why? Yuh have tuh do to dem doctors wat dem bad woman does do to man…clean dem out…! (he, he, he…. J ). Ah only prayin’ ah eh get sick because it go be from hospital bed to deathbed wit’ no stops in between…! But if yuh lonely, jus’ get sick…wit’ de 2 or 3 people on one bed, at least yuh go get tuh meet people…..
GIVE PEACE A CHANCE.....
We had some bad experiece in de las’ few weeks boy…. dem young fellas getting’ outta han’… ah fella make joke an’ tell ah nex fella he getting’ horn, an’ de fella pick up ah axe an’ hit him in he head… ah eh sure if de fella dead or wha… Ah next case, two young boys arguin’ wit ah nex one, an’ dey pick up ah big stone an’ bash him on he head too… youth man eh survive… Den ah nex one gone by he former girlfriend, get vex wit she an’ nex t’ing is cutlass flyin’…. Woman get dey house burn dong, all kinda t’ing in ah next bram…. Wah’ really goin’ on wit’ dese young fellas boy…. ah man cyah take ah little heckle… cyah get vex an’ walk off again….? Why de violence…?
All dem bright people talkin’ ‘bout how we have tuh teach dem youths “conflict resolution” and “mediation techniques”… wat dey mean is teach people how tuh part or prevent fight. An’ how come we have tuh learn all dem techniques all of ah sudden? We didn’t have tuh learn it before…. but monkey see, monkey do…. all dem shows from cartoons to “adult”, dey does show yuh de bes’ way to solve problem is to lick two cuff in somebody tail or take ah gun an’ potow pow! Problem done, justice serve.
If yuh seein’ dat from 2 years, wat yuh go do wen yuh reach 17? Yuh ever see ah hero talk he way outta trouble? An’ everybody shocked an’ dey eyebrow nearly flyin’ off dey forehead wit’ surprise wen dese t’ings happen… from small, brudder, from small, teach respeck…. all ah we could live togedder, it have enough room……
Remember how much l’il boy it had in July 1990 attempted coup? Since before dat it happenin….. an’ speakin’ of which, ah tired hear people talk about the “Coup” in 1990 (July 27). It wasn’t no coup…. it was ah hostage situation. Is like taking over Congress wen dey in sittin’ an’ because yuh have de Capitol, yuh feel yuh have the US…. nonsense man…. de only t’ing we should remember is dat dat is de firs’ time dat de Parliament was invaded by force, usually it invaded by stupidity an’ some gun talk.…. it have no “coup” to commerate.
So leh we learn somet’ing from de “Parliament crisis” radder dan layin’ dong flowers every year an’ lookin’ for hero, or castin’ blame…. Leh we eh mash up de place, nah…we come too far tuh turn back now……de red in we flag stan’ for the vibrancy an’ creativity of we people, not for dey blood…
PRETTY GIRLS ALL IN A ROW.....
Ah feel ah have tuh coment on dis one, but ah sure it pass ah whole setta people like ah full bus…. we havin’ ah Ms. TnT Teen Beauty Show. Now ah fin’ we carryin’ dis ah little far… we already have Ms. World, Ms. Universe, Ms. Borough, an’ all ah dem…. dat is enough beauty show man… why yuh mus’ involve teenagers in dem t’ings (under 18 ah talkin’ ‘bout, after dat dem feel dem is big woman… yuh know how de t’ing go…).
Oh gorm man, talent show ah doh min’, modelling is alright, but Beauty Show?? What dem chilren have tuh parade in bathsuit, an’ answer question an’ do all dem kinda t’ing for? Dat is sendin’ de wrong message, man, beauty is more dan dat…
Let dem use dey talent an’ skill tuh develop deyself… if yuh want tuh learn to talk good, no need for beauty pageant - join ah debatin’ club; yuh feel yuh have ah nice body an’ like competition - keep healthy by playin’ team sport an’ exercisin’; yuh like de limelight - it have actin’ an’ modelling (modelling is very different from beauty show…Ms. Universe eh no modelling competition, an’ contestants doh back bite an’ get hysterical wen dey lorse, because modelling eh no competiton); yuh want tuh meet people - develop ah nice personality; yuh feel yuh have brains - study yuh books….
Yeah man, dem teens should have dey days tuh grow up… if yuh doin’ grown t’ings now, wat yuh go do wen yuh grow up…? Nex’ t’ing one ah dem get in ah l’il accident ah get ah scar, dey whole life gone t’rough… we settin’ up dem yout’ girl dem…. an’ expeck dem gyirls tuh look pas’ dey body, if dat is all dey promotin’ (is not only about body…? Yuh ever see ah 200 lb Ms. Universe contestant?). Cobra sendin’ ah warnin’ again… ah Jamaican fella did sing some time ago….. “Too much heat under dem yout’ dem feet, too much heat…” leh we cool it dong nah… dat Ms. Teen competition ah feel is ah Ms. Take…….
That’s it for
dis week folks….. No! No! we eh goin’ home…. we eh leavin’….No!
No! We eh goin’ home… (background music).
Special hail out to
the Ontario, Canada posse….Chenelle and Jeanne!
Yeaaaaaah! Greetings!
Live
long!
And to all ah alyuh
headin’ north for Caribana, take ah jump for de Cobra….wave ah flag….! Ah gone..!
Any comments, questions, queries, ole talk, send to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com Peace!
Views expressed do not reflect the opinions of KP Resorts, Ltd, it's management or staff.