TNN 116

Jumpstation: Home, sweet home; Ah seein' red; Art imitating life; Ole mas.

Yeah, dat is wey de West Indies Cricket team comin'....back to de Caribbean.....booted out of de cricket World Cup in ignoble style, in de firs' round.....boop! All now dey mus' be askin' de to board de plane....
I NEVER see t'ing so.....after de first match against South Africa, ah say "yeah boy, we go make dem sweat dis round"...ah mean, we beat de team rated no. 2 in de World cup.....den for some unfathomable reason we lose to New Zealand...no sense of application...ah man say de take some "complacency pills.". Then we match against Bangladesh geh wash out...dat was ah hard luck, but if we did do wat we had to do against NZ, we wouldna be in dat position...

An' de Worl' Cup organizers, self..dey know it does have rain, it eh have NO extra day to reply ah match or nothin' so..which is ridiuclous...! 

But de res' of de cricket was inexcusable...we play Sri Lanka an up to de las' over we coulda win de match...Laro and Vooper decide to make 0 an' 1 respectively....if each of dem had made 5, YES, FIVE, runs we wouda win de match an' go t'rough....poor Sawan (Sawy) get hit in he head, went to hospital for treatment, and had to get stitches, come back in an' STILL score 46 runs.....so wha' happen to de two top batsmen?
We win Kenya, but a little too late.....we gone t'rough....sad, but true..I eh feel sorry for Egalnd or New Zealand since dey boycott matches in Zimbabwe and Kenya citing fear of terrorists or some nonsense so...England say dey eh like de govenment in Zimbabwe so dey would default...well zaffaire dem! Make sure alyuh put dem on de next flight...

An' boy, everybody was sayin' how de WI side starting to turn de corner (well, like is somebody lick dem dong as dey round de curve!)..how de was climbing back up de ladder (hmmm..de ladder slip apparently).....how de Young Turks was coming to reclaim past glory days (well, if dem is Young Turks, maybe dey should be in Turkey, not South Africa!), but give Jack he jacket and Jim he jimboots, de young fella do well overall, but de older heads jut failed to lead......we measured opponents instead of jus' playin' every match hard.....so de sheep a' cheese boys (New Zealand) grease we dong......! If yuh fail to prepare, prepare to fail....
De nex' World Cup in de West Indies, leem see if dey go make man come in dey own house an' shamefully beat dem.....

AH SEEIN' RED...

An' ah gettin' blue black to purple too! Wat spirit pass over de PM bed two days ago, boy?! At Cabinet Press Conference ah couple days ago, I hear de Minister of Public (Mal)Administration sayin' dat how dey intend to move de Parliament from de Red House......an' put it where? Look, doh make meh get crude here! 

Pathos say how it now too small for Parliament an' dey committees so dey go build ah new building, occupying almost one block an' put de Parliament dey......I have ah question to ask....how big has de US government grown over de las' 100 years...? Pretty big, eh? How come dey eh find de Capitol too small to fit dem? Dey representatives shrink? No, dey recognise the importance of history an de impact that monuments have on de national consciousness, the importance of traditions, landmarks etc...de Capitol is de seat of government and unless somet'ing drastic happen, will remain so for ah long time to come....

On top of all dat stupidity dey say dey eh know how much it go cost to build de new structure because dey eh advertise for drawings yet.......well I know exactly how de new structure go look......exactly like de las' one...because dey eh movin' no damn place, if ah have to lie dong in front de Red House!....

If yuh fin' de government growing, build ah new building an' put all de extra committees etc. In dat building......but leave de Parliament dey, for heavens sake.....is not ah apartment yuh jus' change wen yuh get money to afford ah new one...! Dat mean somet'ing to de population.......Red House = government....even de designs of old style archeitecture, giving we ah sense of rootedness to de past etc....

But it have more to dis dan meets de eye, eh.....ah couple weeks ago, Pathos bawl how de PM office in Whitehall too small (well, lose some weight, an' it go fit jus' right!), so he want to move to de Red House..an' ah couple people le-le he tail for suggestin' dat....so now he tryin' to make ah zig-wah an' come from ah nex' direction...if yuh move Parliament an' de Red House now empty, maybe ah could jus' move across.....(yeah, leh we try dat..we go fool dem, ent?) 

It have Stollmeyer's Castle right next to de PM office, one of de Magnificent Seven, if yuh need more room, rennovate de building an' put some more offices dey.....it jus' dey from wey yuh is...an' again is ah building of history, ole archeitecture, beautiful, solid stone foundations an' all dat, but leave... PLEASE....leave de Parliament in de Red House.....if govrnment gettin' to big, is about time yuh start trimming....gov't coud only grow big on taxpayers money........no way else......so doh take MY money to ramajay....ah know is Carnival, but dat doh mean yuh have to go back to de ole time days and play IMP!

ART IMITATING LIFE.....

Yeah, de "art" part was de calyspo, de "life" part was de violence..turns out dey have dis roving calypso/soca show, mostly with younger performers who does give concerts for schools....which is ah good t'ing...but dis year for some reason, hundreds of children show up, unsupervised an' de horse bolt from de stable..some start to get on by de gate..police interrupt, dey fight wit' de Police..some school girls jump ah policewoman etc...of course de young "ladies" end up in court an' rightly so...

Ah have ah few questions...all dem children was in school uniform, all de schools knew about it, why it didn't have no teachers wit' dem? During school hours, children are the responsibility of the school administration....like it or not...somebodies woulda have to write ah report for meh......

Why children attackin' POLICE? Wat de hell goin' on here...? An' some people (who were not there!) callin' in an' sayin' how de Police use unecessary force.....umm hmmm....de Police are de guardians of civil order, security and public conduct. Wen you attack ah police in uniform, yuh eh attack ah man or woman, yuh attack ah institution dat preserves teh society from fallin' into chaos....ah doh t'ink dey use too much force atall! If dey err, is because dey use to little...if some of dem chilren had felt ah little force before at home, dey wouldna have to get de "full force of de law" later...all parents of children responsible was comin' to court......an' I eh want no story about yuh cyah fin' dey father (find dem!) or yuh cyah control dem......is your chilren, who yuh want to control dem?! 

If we cyah control de in school, wen dey leave wat go be de position of de society which dem have to form?.... Bend de tree while it still young, I say...as de twig is bent, so is de tree inclined...if something tough an' it bend, one way to straighten it is to beat it back into shape!...yeah...call meh ah savage..but let dem continue, see how "civilised" dey go grow!

OLE MAS....

Apparently dat is wat everyth'ing turn dis year....de firs' piece ah nonsense was wen de National carnival Commission (NCC) and the National Carnival Bandleaders Association (NCBA) or somet'ing so, end up in court...de NCC eh give de NCBA money to run dey show...de NCC say dat dem is the government body in charge of Carnival activities an' de NCBA have to itemise everyth'ing to get de money an' do as dey say or else is none for dem! De NCBA say dat dey in charge of certain Carnival shows, dey need money an' if de NCC eh give dem none, is court in de couti-ya! 


Man, is injunction to get money, den dey release some money, den de injunction get reverse, because de court sat is de NCC who have de final say, because dem is de legally recognised body, etc.....ah doh know wat else dey expected dem to say.....

Den Pan TRINBAGO decide to have de bands approach de Savannah entrance from de western instead of de eastern side....an' all de vendors who pay money for boots an' lookin' for sale, are of course on de eastern side, so dey lose money like crazy, trucks back up, spewing fumes all over de place, was trouble to get pans on, more congestion because it had less space for de public to walk alongside de bands..it was chaos...dey sheepishly change it back for de finals Sat. night......

Now, tell me true..how LONG alyuh know Carnival was comin'...yuh wait till FEBRUARY 2003 to try an' sort out dese shows or decide to change round ah system?! Ah was clearin' way de whole board of de NCC an' Pan Trinbago woulda have to compensate all dem vendors..is de only way to make some people learn, yuh have to burn dem......bad!
Why we feel dat Carnival doh need plannin'...dat t'ings go jus' fall in place? Mark my works, for de 25th year runnin' it go have congestion around de Queen's Park Savannah wit' bands standin' up for 4 hours to get on stage....doh say ah' didn't tell yuh...dey refuse to work out ah proper route, to tell bands over ah certain size to dissolve into two bands and reach de Savannah at different times etc...no need for order...everybody rush, push to get to de stage an' we go sort out de bottleneck wen we reach dey......why settle all dese t'ings from September las' year? Dat woulda show common sense an' de ability to manage..an' dat is not Carnival, ent?!

An' of course de long disputed talk about costumes...I tired talk on dat so I have no more to say....if people willin' to pay 1300 dollars for ah bikini an' some beads, or ah shorts an' ah arm band, let dem! If dey feel dat is mas, who am I to disagree.....? I would venture to claim dat most of dese people who say so, doh have ah single calypso CD in dey music collection....as far as dey concern, is jus' ah excuse to lime an' party till nex' year again...no sense of art, design, portrayal or anyt'ing so..jus' lemme free up!

So Saldenah, mas man extrodinaire who win medium size bands title about 15 times, bowin' out dis year...Berkeley takin' less an' less part in Carnival, Garib gone to live in Tobago so de Santos/Garib connection gone, George Bailey (poor fella ) dead an' gone, so he eh preside over the travesty dat we have for mas now, poor Minshall is ah voice in de wilderness....one by one de lights goin' out, leavin' we in ah twilight inhabited by skimpily glad "Carnival jumbies"...... de very soul of de festival, de creativity, de portrayal, de skill of de wirebenders, all goin' dong de drain....

Ah doh min' if yuh want ah l'il bit of costume, but please doh tell meh dat somebody DESIGN dat ! If yuh move form one section to de nex' is just ah change of colour....yuh could use las' year costume an' nobody would notice...steups! Many of de calypsonians (so called)/calypsoes following de trend, skimpy on lyrics, rhyme, melody, plenty drum machine an' some of dem even singin' wit' Jamaican accents..no, ah not lying! 
Nex' year, if alyuh eh get no report from meh, is because ah up in countryside somewhere chillin' out...ah cyah watch ah t'ing dead jus' so....

Nex' week, watch out for meh commentary on de carnival jus' gone..... 

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Dat’s all for dis week folks…remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs, etc… jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care care, alyuh, ah gone…. Peace….. My friends, money eh no problem…my friends, money eh no problem….. ….….(background music, Ras Shorty I)