TNN 112

Hmmm..well ah was ah l’il under de wedder, an’ den dey try to kill meh wit’ wuk , but ah back again…. ah cyah believe so much t’ing happen in 3 weeks.. ah go have to write ‘bout 3 TNNs to ketch up…. anyway…. welcome to we broadcast ..an’… (deep voice)…DIS IS TNN…..  hark, hark…de dogs do bark, de t’ieves are comin’ to town…t’ieves in trags, t’ieves in drags…an’ some t’ieves in dere velvet gowns….(Valentino..Barking Dogs)

Jumpstation: Bee-wee... you're the reason we (hope to) fly; A good cane-ing; Spin-ing wheel; A big gift.;

De Official Cobra Travelogue- USA
Back to the East.

Well, de ole BWIA (Bwee) ran into some economic turbulence de las’ couple weeks…dey cyah pay dey debts, dey creditors gi’ dem till de end of Oct (an’ dat was ah extension!) to do somet’ing before somet’ing do dem!

Man, talk about all hands on deck….prepare for takeoff!  Unions had meetings, management had meetings… everybody panicky!  De gov’t say doh look for no lifejacket from dem (check below yuh seats!).  So is ah hustle an’ ah bustle….advertisement on TV wit’ employees expressin’ dedication to de airline.. an’ yuh know dey still runnin’ de advert. sayin’ all de t’ings yuh could get on Bwee, de man sayin’… “Yuh could even get pepper sauce”….

Well it was ah l’il too hot for dem dis time….for ah minute dey, ah see Bwee leaving de “friendly skies” to park like taxi on de ground….. but den ah realise dat gov’t had to be grandcharging….you could imagine what would happen if Bwee fall outta de sky?

Man, first of all, all de people outta work….. next, dem two new jets dey buy, who takin’ dem?! It eh have ah single company dat want to repossess ah aircraft.. it have too many of dem in de air right now.. ask DELTA, AA or United.. dem boys cuttin’ like ah Chinese chopper, so no matter what de gov’t say, nobody eh want planes, so de 40% or how much shares dey have in BWIA, dey eh getting’ one cent back…..

Sen what about all dem business people who does get air cargo cheap because Bwee doh pay no dockage/hangar fees or anything..…yuh t’ink dem odder airlines have time wit’ alyuh? Your air freight goin’ when it have room! An’ pray tell who goin’ to use all dem hangars (it eh have dat much clothes in TnT.. heh!heh!hehe!)?!

So one way or another, is bailout and restructure, because de alternative is just not feasible! Which is what eventually happen.. dey gi’ dem ah loan which dey have to pay back, an’ de engines roarin’ again....  Now normally, ah doh believe in bailin’ people out.. yuh ineffecient, pay for yuh stupidity…. but is not only Bwee, is plenty airlines all over de world ketchin’ dey nennen, an’ over de las’ 5 years, Bwee really tryin’ to get off de ground…dey real cut costs an’ t’ing, so ah didn’t min’ givin’ dem ah l’il break…

Now belatedly dem other Caribbean countries talkin’ about making Air Jamaica and BWIA dey regional airlines an’ rationalising routes, etc…. dey now realise dat is de way to go…  Yuh really t’ink it was wise to have all dem airlines flyin’ in an’ out of de Caribbean, washin’ dey foot here an’ goin’ back home?  Any time passenger load drop, dey drop de route an’ is we to ketch…yuh have to beg an’ entice dem back… yuh didn’t see de necessity of lettin’ yuh Caribbean airlines get special concessions to fly throughout de Caribbean from international destinations?  Dat way dey fares would be cheaper, dey go fly full, dey could den expand….yuh understan’ anyt’ing dat ah sayin’ yet?

It in front yuh face, but yuh turnin’ yuh head!  So now is talk evermore about how to go about dis rationalisation…didn’t we have dis conversation in de early 90’s? But t’ings wasn’t so desperate den… all dem airline who dem t’ought was dey fren, flyin’ if dey feel like it…. ah did try to tell dem dat.. but like somebody decompress dey brain…. no problem dey have de best oxygen now…. ah good dose of reality! 

A GOOD CANE-ING...

Dat is what some people want... but doh use cane, use bull pistle!

As if to bring de flip side, de gov’t decide basically to rationalise CARONI Ltd…. finally!  Dis is ah company dat had ah $2 BILLION debt forgiven by de gov’t in 1995 an’ durin’ de nex’ gov’t regime was allowed to run up anodder $2 BILLION in debt again, over 5 1/2 yrs!  What de Hell was on dey minds?! Nothing, probably……...now finally after almost 27 years of losses, dey decide to rationalise. 

De now Opposition jumpin’ up an’ protestin’ dat dey tryin’ to punish people who eh vote for dem…   Brudder….CARONI punish ALL ah we!  Who yuh t’ink have to pay back dat debt?! Twice!

Now ah talk about dis already, so I eh spendin’ no setta time on it…sugar will NEVER make money again…. produce sugar for local consumption, use de rest of lands for agriculture and agri-industry, make downstream industries from sugar cane (Cuba doin’ it for years) dairy and other farms, light industry and manufacturing, infrastructure such as schools, hospitals, recreation and sports grounds (move de Zoo dong dey while yuh at it, stop punishin’ dem animals in dem small cages in Port of Spain!)…anything else is spinnin’ top in mud….

Give Caroni workers first option to lease back de lan’ (doh sell it…once yuh sell it , man go start to make all kinda scam wit’ de land!) an’ utilise it accordingly.. if yuh eh use it as planned, we take back yuh lease…simple!

How could ah Union or some members of de now Opposition object to dat?  Dey even givin’ de workers VTP (Voluntary Termination of Employment ) buyouts.... you want to cut cane in hot sun for de next 30 years?! Gimme ah break!  Any union dat fight for dat should lose all dey membership…!

Ah agree wit’ de Opposition dat gov’t should discuss it wit’ de workers, Unions, etc.. to arrive at de bes’ solution, yuh cyah come like ah t’ief in de night an’ decide to make mas……. yuh have ah responsibility to de workers an’ de country as a whole…..but we eh turnin’ around now.. dis nonsense have to stop……  Sugar is sweet yes, but remember as de “folk” wisdom so nicely put it …. “what sweet in goat mouth does sour in he bam-bam!”..

SPIN-ING WHEEL.....

Yeah, back to ole WI cricket team and their escapades in India.. dey managed to lose the first two Tests and thereby the series by an “all-wrong” performance…. poor batting, bowling, fielding…. dem boys was perfect!

Having lost 2 of the 3 Tests, dey den show up to play cricket in the Third Test and win dat.. in convincin’ style…..!.. short of Chanderpaul, Gayle an’ Sarwan, nothing much in the batting……an’ oh geeeeeeezzzz! Stop hittin’ de ball in de air.. you will get caught!  Listen, dammit, listen!  Someone suggested dat dey should play de las’ match first, dat way dey go always win…!

Now de One Series start…we win de first two… doh worry, I nearly choke mehself (how dey do dat?!)….. De Third match, trouble…..we had ah good total, but India was after we like ah bat outta hell!  Den de crowd start to set fire in de stadium and riot…a peculiar brand of behaviour limited to the sub-continent and cricket…. 

Man settin’ rubbish on fire an’ dancin’ round de pile, den dey start to t’row bottles at de WI fieldsmen… dey went inside before dey get damage , de match referee award de match to India based on a faster run rate…..

Now I thought when your supporters stop ah match, de opposin team suppose to get de win… me eh know what possess dem to suggest dat, an’ for we to ACCEPT it!   Anyway.. life goes on.. but not for long… today (Friday) WI set dem ah total of 324 to win.. de 3rd largest total ever set to win a One day match…. India win with 2 and ah half overs to spare! Yuh could believe dat?! Who de %@$#^#& was bowlin’? How could ah team make dat wit’ overs to spare? An’ remember, de Indian star batsman injured! Of course de 23 no balls we give dem helped…

Please look at where you are bowlin’ de bowl please..keep it between the boundaries of de pitch…dat is de first rule of bowlin’! In other words dem had 300 runs to make because we gi’ dem 23….if alyuh was in Australia ah woulda say , okay, alyuh standing on alyuh head , so yuh was t’inkin’ upside dong, but what is yuh excuse now?! Look, for some reason we cannot seem to be able to out dong ah side……we paly ah Junior team about two weeks ago, same t’ing..we score big total, but cyah out de side for biscuit!

I doh know what to say again…what to do again….is obeah, we born to take licks..we forget how to win, dey forcin’ yuh to play…what? What? WHAT?!  An’ if yuh see dey face when dey see dey losin’.. is like all ah dey mudder dead.. instead of pushin’ to de end, dey shoulders drooping, dey face sour, dey lethargic in de fielding, de bowlers like yuh have to beg dem to bowl…… dey better walk wit’ dey own food, because like what dey eatin’ dey eh doin’ dem good… dey eh have no belly for ah fight!

Leh we see what go happen in de other two matches…we lose de Tests.. leh we see if we go lose de One day Series too…… when yuh have men so, is to buy dem one way ticket…if yuh win, yuh get to come back home…odderwise is you to ketch!

A BIG GIFT....

Eh-heh! Ah glad de newspapers ketch up wit’ dem….!  Apparently we Foreign affairs Minister (Gift by name) had some lan’ in Tobago which de government take in de 80’s to build a part of de Crown Point Airport. 

He ask for compensation of nearly $3 million, I think…. de government still laughing nearly 20 years later!  De man say he was going to set up ah duty free shop (he woulda be bankrupt now, because Tobago eh have no setta tourists for de past 2 years!) and he sue de government an’ want to claim as part of compensation, all de lawyer fees he pay to try and get de matter resolved. 

Ah believe de government tell him he could get ah little over $1/2 million or somet’ing so…  Anyway de courts ask de man and he lawyers to come to an agreement with de government an’ stop budderin’ dem…. nex’ t’ing yuh know ah couple days before de las’ election, de AG office give an order for $600,000 to be paid as part of de full compensation… an’ it have people waitin’ 18 years for compensation for dey lan’! 

Well, de mark bus’! Why he suddenly getting’ so much money a couple days before ah election?… No doubt de man decide, look, in case we lose, lemme make sure ah get ah l’il somet’ing, eh! Take in front before in front take meh! 

Now I eh know how much de full payment was going to be… apparently dey was going to Cabinet in dis new term to ask de Cabinet to decide……. Now how in heaven’s name can a Cabinet decide how much money to give one of its senior Cabinet Ministers?!  Dat eh soundin’ like ah conflict of interest?  Who go back chat ah SENIOR Cabinet Minster…?

Now PM Pathos sayin’ sheepishly dat dey go send it back to de court to decide, because of “de way in which it has been brought to the pubic attention..”   

Fren, de AG and de Minster should be fired!  Full stop!  Dat soundin’ like too much inside trading and scam!  Yuh cyah jus’ decide to use taxpayers money so vi-ki-vi! 

By de way, de PM could resign while he at it… there is no way dat matter should come before de Cabinet of which he is master (especially if he knew about it).. Now of course all dem Tobagonians who waitin’ expectin’ big payout like we “gift wrapped” Minister…..  

De gov’t decide to move on de matter of compensation with due haste….10 points for de Press on dis one…. ah still tryin’ to understan’ how ah fella who name dey say get call in all kinda t’ing reach so high in Cabinet…. but doh worry Pathos go find dat “bearing Gift(s)” may be ah heavy load to carry!

WATER, BUCKET A DROP...

Wellllllllllll boy!  Alyuh should ah be here last week ..if alyuh see water! Flood in ah rage! Dem rivers, like dey have bad mind… dey save up water for de whole rainy season an’ less dan ah month before it end, it water in yuh pfeffen! 

Hear nah, Coast Guard had to use boat to reach people, agencies had to deliver food, bulldozer and heavy machinery to clear mud and debris…. people loss clothes, appliances, carpets, you name it…de North South highway by Friday last, had one lane closed…..places dat never flood before, like dem was by de sea…water in all form an’ size.. de only t’ig missing in dis story was Noah’s Ark!

Of course to make t’ings better, de Gulf of Paria had ah high tide, so dem rivers had nowhere to flow, so dey decide to explore de country!

Ah have ah couple observations to make, though….. if yuh squatting on de banks of a river, it is possible you will be affected by a flood…….for some of those who appeared unclear as to what took place…..solution? T’ink about it! 

Ah river on meh way home, overflow de banks…next day ah pass is bamboo, mud, sticks, STOVE, FRIDGE, etc bang up against de bridge…note….dere are other ways of getting rid of these appliances…dey tend to block waterways……yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh—eeesssss……true, true…! 

Next t’ing, why de hell we doh clean drains in de dry season?! Ah hear de minister sayin’ dey go have to do some work, but it will have to be in de dry seaon….. like de one dat just’ pass?!  Is 40 yrs now, we sayin’ dat drainage is ah problem....since in de 70’s Ras Shorty sing about de drains in Port of Spain overflowing every time it rain….dis is 30 yrs later….what de Ministry of Works does be doing in de dry season?…...takin in ah bake an’ shark on Maracas Bay? 

Den de PM say dey go give compensation to people who was affected by de storm…. dey have in mind about $20 M, if yuh did spend ah few million on keeping water ways clear you wouldna have to spend all in on year…de water even wash out we former AG Ram. Into de public eye … Ram passing around sayin’ he go help people sue gov’t to get compenation …Why lie to de people?…

Brudder dat go drag out in court so long dat yuh grandchildren might get dat! MAYBE! (Remember Tobaga people an’ dem? An’ dem land was legally owned!).  So please, leh we have ah RATIONAL program of clearing and keeping waterways clear as well as backup emergency systems.. if dis was ah hurricane, all now ah talkin’ to you from de Gulf of Paria!

De Official Cobra Travelogue- USA…
 

BACK TO THE EAST....

PHILADELPHIA (PART 1)
Okey dokey….on de road again…. having spent a weekend in New Jersey, we heading off to Philapdelphia… New jersey is one helluva state I tell you… yuh have to have ah car… is one settlement, miles of bush, ah mall and other facilities, one setta bush, another settlement…ah could see why dey call it the Garden state… plenty “greenery”!  Anybody know what is de capital of NJ (see what ah mean?)… some place called Trenton (who?!)..

Anyway took de train an’ is one to Trenton to meet and be picked up by 3 other Trinis….de lime growin’ boy…. Penn look like ah cool place, some wide open spaces, lakes, etc…. ah was kinda hungry doh, so de minute we reach de house (“just dey”... ah good 50 mins drive.. an’ ah doh mean at slow speed either!), we make mas wit’ ah pot of pelau!  After dat , ah start to feel like mehself.. have some nice architecture in dis place boy, old plantation style houses and some farms (biiiggg farms). Ah never see so much corn and soya boy!


MASSACHUSSETTS
We eh good reach yet, nex’ day was on to Mass, boy…. after going back to collect stuff, to buy donuts, to get gas… like we en want to leave!  Got lost ah couple times, missed a couple turn offs an’ reach about 2 hrs after we supposed to reach….. happens when every missed turnoff mean 40 miles more of driving! Ah excellent dinner an’ some drinks later an’ we forget all dat!

Did not get to Boston, a pity (plenty history dey, ah hear), but stayed in a nice small town area…. good lakeside.. did some running on mornings….  De lime was up to about 6 people now (more to come later!).. visited a kinda zoo-park an’ actually did some shopping…. experienced some rain that was not de warmest t’ing ah ever feel…wouldn’t like to feel dem raindrops in autumn, boy….. was de first part of de trip, we really get to lime an’ talk late in de night, watch movies, cook some good food,…...well really until early mornin’ eh….like 2-2:30….like we vex wit’ de bed! 

Only spent about 3 days though, because we had to head back dong to Penn. to meet another setta people….. so de lime now two vehicles big an’ is back to Penn. ….. using apparently a much longer route. Ah t’ought we woulda end up in Texas or somet’ing!

PENNSYLVANIA (PART 2)…..
Havin’ settled back in, is what to do now….. well first day, drive around de area, sightsee ah bit, remember going to ah nice breakfast place on Sunday…. ah Irish establishment…. more food dan yuh could imagine!

Den dem people decide dey want to go to Hershey’s Amusement Park… now, I eh consider mehself no amusement park fella, but de majority rule!  So off we gone…one biiiiiiggg park… an’ ah car park yuh coulda rent as ah savannah….. Dey decide dey trying out de roller coasters, so yuh boy have he magazine in he han’ readin’ while we line up, went on de first ride, easy squeezy…..what is all de excitement about?…..den ah nex’ ride…ahhhhmmmm, dat one little rough boy, but yuh know…I cool, I cool…! Hmm! De nex’ one was ah little “different”….first time ah really went on one of dem kinda roller coaster, eh….up, up, up,….de t’ing goin’ inch by inch……now I have ah l’il problem wit’ heights, yuh unnerstan’, so when ah seein’ de whole state of Penn. below meh, wit. NY in de distance, ah fin’ we high enough! Den whoooooosssshhhhhhh!  Look, if meh heart wasn’t inside meh, it woulda land on de ground… (of course yuh boy eh scream.. I bigger dan dat!)…as de t’ing reach de bottom is because it gone backwards, flip yuh upside dong and turn yuh around in de process of flipping yuh.. an’ de only t’ing between you an’ de ground is ah railing?!…..haaaaaaa lard!

Was dat enough..NO!  Is ride after ride after ride, each one worse dan de odder.. it had ah scrambler dat spinning yuh upside down while carrying yuh up, den shakin’ yuh like ah egg in ah blender at de same time.. ah deceptive little boxcart day with no railings at de side, so yuh swear yuh flying off de edge when it make ah turn (ah hear people cussin’, literally, when dey get off dat one, it does really look easy from de ground, but eh-eh!), an’ of course de “Wildcat” ride.. ah always use to wonder why people does put dey hands up in de air.. now ah know.. yuh does really get ah adrenaline rush when dat t’ing going dong, brudder…. aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! (no, dat wasn’t me, dat was meh frens an’ dem!). 

One roller coaster ride, ah put meh glasses inside meh t- shirt so it wouldn’t fall off meh face.. by de time de ride reach back, ah was sittin’ on meh glasses, doh ask how! By dis time it dark, so yuh could hardly see wey de coaster going, is just ah mad ride in near darkness! 

Took some water rides too, but after ah while had to stop dat…. dat water was cold! An’ de breeze wasn’t helpin’…t’ank goodness we take ah change of clothes.. ah couldn’t feel meh foot or meh toes!  An’ by de way… ah know de park only open for ah summer..but dey have to make ALL dey money in ONE summer?!  Yuh know de price of ah coke, ah sandwich, ah burger in dat place?  Yuh have to eat dat burger slowly to savour yuh money!  I never see t’ing so…. after yuh nearly give people heart attack, yuh eh want to feed dem?!
Anyway, back to de house afterwards, wey ah take ah turn on de stove….ah have ah sweet han’, yuh know.. when ah finish, dey had to buy BandAids.. people was biting dey fingers!

Nex’ day two more people arrive, so lime up to 8 or nine people now (hmmmm…dis house getting’ crowded.. yuh could imagine 8 Trinis in ah “foreign” country? Fun cyah done! B’day party an’ all pass in de rush!
….Philadelphia (Philly) is ah nice place, kinda small.. expected ah big spread like NY, but not too many skyscrapers, a nice waterfront, plenty history an’ of course yuh boy had to run up de “Rocky” steps.. an’ make de two fisted gesture at de top (ta-da taaaaaa….ta-da.taaaaa)….even have Rocky boot prints dey…my foot bigger dan he own t’ough! Got a nice trip downtown on ah tour bus, place clean, little walkways an’ all dat, but ah fin’ dem building ah little too close though.... in LA, yuh have to take taxi between buildings, here, as yuh walk outside yuh run into ah next one….. spent ah nice few days in Penn man……but as ah warnin’…please note, dey doh sell alcohol in groceries or on Sunday in Penn., so please carry yuh stocks if yuh spending ah weekend…man, it was most surprisin’ to we who wanted ah l’il “wine to feel fine”…man, yuh had tuh go to ah liquor store Or if yuh desperate drive outta de state..juice go have to suffice!)…..look trouble!

Finally is time to move on..so it was off to de train station, after pottering around Philly…..some heading back by car to Mass…. my party heading back to Jersey to get back to NY to come home, others leaving from Penn to fly home…. lime startin’ to mash up….it eh fair man!  So leaving Philly in dusk to head back to NJ via train…. de second to last train I believe…. rather uneventful ride.. yuh sleepy but yuh dare not sleep, because yuh go miss yuh stop!

Overnight in Jersey, packing till obscene hours,. Tryin’ to make everything fit, because from two thirty in de morning yuh up to travel to NY to head home.. seem ah long time since ah was dey boy…… ah see more of de US dan some of dey citizens see in ah lifetime!

JOURNEY HOME….

Well, up before cock crow, tryin’ to lug 4 suitcases and hand luggage through train stations.. some angels help we out along de way because we woulda leave half dat luggage on de platform… when dem train doors close, dey close! Who inside, inside.. who outside, too bad!  So seein’ we difficulty, some people would grab two bags, fling dem on de train, we come after wit’ another two.. ah sweatin’ like ah bussin’ cement in hot sun!  An’ is now daybreak, eh! T’anks to some bad direction in de train station, had to move luggage up an’ dong steps..yuh would t’ink de people workin’ dey would know how de train dem does work!

Arrive at JFK, yuh mus’ recognise de Trini line…… yuh need ah oil tanker to put dey luggage in….!  I didn’t do much shoppin’ eh people… my shoppin’ woulda full half ah suitcase, but everybody eh me!  When we reach, dem talkin’ some nonsense about we cyah take bags in de cargo hold, only suitcases.. dat piece of stupity was rapidly sorted out.. met ah Trini fren who come from England to make ah holiday in de US….. she come to de airport to ketch ah glimpse of we… nice, man, nice.. so t’rough immmigration an’ on de way to Piarco.. ah sleep nearly whole flight… is less dan 3 hours sleep ah get de night before, yuh know!

HOMECOMING:  Yuh ever notice dat even when yuh pass t’rough duty free to buy stuff, your luggage is still de las’ set on de belt!  I must be wait nearly ah hour to get de bags!  Customs ask meh “Wat yuh have dey brudder?” Yuh barely seein’ meh behin’ de suitcases……to tell yuh de truth, ah really couldn’t tell him! Because ah really didn’t know what dey had in dem!

Finally ah step out of Piarco an’ is home time…… ah safe, ah gain 8 pounds (of muscle.. yuh boy was working out, even went to a gym for one week.. but yuh know how dem hormone food does blow yuh up!), ah broken, but ah cool….. dis is Trinidad… ah eh go starve!

Cobra would lie to thank all dose who made this trip so thoroughly enjoyable and memorable… had a whale of ah time!  Even all de people who name I eh know.. in de stores, in de bus stations, on de trains, etc…who lend ah hand or sort out t’ings for meh, who take meh out, open dey house, meh TNNers crew who ah get to meet….. Blessings all!

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Dat’s all for dis week folks… remember any queries, questions, comments, hail outs etc…jus’ write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to yuh… Take care care, alyuh, ah gone….Peace….  Change de rhythm of Carnival…to ah groovy, groovy baccahnal…… ….. ….….(background music, Ras Shorty I)