TNN 103

Hello folks..welcome to our broadcast from latitudes South… we back again… an’ (deep voice)… dis is TNN….. Uncle Spree..it ent easy….ah could tell yuh…pann in danger!..pan in danger…! ..(background music….Merchant)

Jumpstation: W...for West-Indies, D..for Defeat; Pan makin' noise ..again; Sickening situation; Yuh may have a drinkin problem especiall if...

If ah didn’t see it, ah wouldna believe it…my gosh!  What it go take again to make dem win?!  Look we had India on de ropes, we was beatin’ dem…an’ is because dey come back an’ knock we out….!? 

Check de scenario… India lose 6 wickets for 13 runs.. a collapse by West Indian proportions…. man we board an’ hijack dey train an’ take de Victory Road. 

Lara and Hooper reach in de wicket…just 182 runs to make and six wickets in hand… Lara playing smoothly, Hooper lookin’ confident (an’ why not…he score ah double century in de las’ test match!).  So all ah we cheerin’…day 4 finish an’ is de las’ day to make less dan 200 runs…SOCK–EYE! 

Eh heh?! As soon as dem boys come back in de mornin’…is gasp!  Spit!  Gag!  Uhh!  Dem fellas choke…!  Lara make 5 runs in one hour…not even ah no. 11 batsman does score dat slow!  Man he add 7 runs an’ is back in de pavilion… not long afterwards Vooper follow him, den Gayle, Murray, Dillon… only Chaderpaul tryin’ to keep de ship afloat while everybody busy punchin’ holes…! 

Murray get run out…runnin’ goin’ where?!  Yuh have de WHOLE DAAAAAYYYYYYY!  Dillon miss de ball completely, transfixed in he crease an’ is because de stumps start to jump like Carnival….!

Even Sanford try..poor fella.. he first test series an’ dey expec' de bowler to keep wicket to de end.. it was just too much…de domino effect jus’ prevailed…. 

When de las’ wicket fall, an’ dem Indians run an’ grab de stumps ah feel as though dey run dem t’rough meh heart!  It was painful….! De people come quite from wey de come from an’ cuttin’ yuh tail in yuh own house….yuh eh shame?! 

An’ what was de reason for de panic?!  Dillon say he didn’t see heself battin’ de nex’ day.. so confident he was dat de batsmen woulda do dey job….. cruel words that returned to mock us! 

Why we fraid to win so…? We have home ground advantage, cheerin’ crowds, music blastin’ from de stands between overs….. get de lead out of yuh shoes man! 

So now is 1-0 to India after two Tests (first one draw) and now is off to Barbados for de Third Test..  Ah hope we pass dat one….! 

PAN MAKIN' NOISE... AGAIN...

Well, embarassments of embarassments… two Americans apply for a patent for makin’ the steel pan… Ludicrous you say? No, no, fair one……TRUE! Like one an’ one is two…! 

We NEVER applied for a patent for the method of makin’ de steel pan, so dem fellas come, realise de importance of it an’ gone off and request it… Man, is ole mas now…! 

Ah fella say dey should ban Americans from de pan yards, people say dem people is ole t’ief…. dey say everyt’ing except is WE fault! 

Pan Trinbago has more than 75 years of pan history behind the instrument, nobody eh compile ah CD on the origins of pan, nobody ever set up ah pan factory (Sweden have one nearly 10 years now), nobody eh standardize de pan, so in one pan yuh C# is on de right, in de nex’ pan, it on de left, etc… an’ pan tuners cyah agree to ah standard (did I mention that Sweden standardized it… of course, notes not supposed to move on ah instrument.. ah fourth string on ah guitar is ALWAYS ah fourth string.. you cyah put it as ah third string!, similarly on a piano, but pan is VERSTILE dat way…!)).  Now somebody decide to get serious, dey vex! 

My comment… It damn good!  De Ministry of legal affairs now tryin’ to fight de patent (yuh have any documentation of de process.. written or video) an’ want to deem pan a national treasure to avoid further problems.. when we make pan de national instrument some say dat was ah racist move.. yes, stupidity exists in never decreasin’ proportions…..!

So dey couldn’t teach pan history in social studies or introduce pan on de curriculum because dat would have offended certain personages…… If I eh like dis place, I lie!

So now we in ah real quandry.. it is instrumental to note that we do not have a pan museum or proper Pan archive or dat Pan never seems to be able to make money..... an' we have jus' given Pan Trinbago TT$7.3 M. Dey already decide how dey goin' to spend it (Pan factory ,etc..)...... watch dem come nex' year askin' for money to hold Panorama. 

De NAR government had (ah t'ink) over TT$4M for dem an' put it in ah account ,so now it worth TT$7.3 M. Yuh t'ink dem boys go take TT$3M an' invest in stocks, buy into some small business, cut some real estate deals to make money, put it in ah high interest account? ...NO! Dey intend to spend it on projects which I hope will generate revenue when dey done

Dis happens simply because we believe dat de bes' people to have runnin' pan is people who ""Playin' pan from since I have 6 years"... but no financial sense, investment knowledge, managerial capacity, organizational strengths, public relations training, etc .....dem coud beat pan, so dem mus' run pan... yeah, into de ground! 

As Minshall was forced to point out to dem when dey make ah calypsonian de Minister of Culture... ah opera singer cannot build an opera house.. dat is ah job for ah architect! 

But we slow to learn an' good to burn... Right now ah cyah hear a clear note in all dis confusion.. Dem pan man need to tune into the 21st century...! Spree Simon mus' be turnin' in he grave....!

SICK-ENING SITUATION.....

Strike! No, is not baseball, is de doctors at de hospital who gone on strike…. 

Now to understan’ dis yuh have to realise dat nothing is ever what it seems…  De doctors eh want dey Union to represent dem.. fine!  Form yuh own representative body ..no!  But how can you negotiate if yuh doh have ah legal body to represent you… no chairman, no public relations officer, no deputy, no nothing.. just ah setta doctors makin’ noise. 

Dey say alright, go wit’ de Union to de CPO an’ make yuh case.. at least yuh will have part in de discussions… No, dey eh want dat.. dey want de Minister to guarantee dem de same salary as dey counterparts in the Regional Health Authorities, which de government hopes all doctors and nurses will join. 

Now if dey give yuh de same salary, why yuh go join? An’ further, while under de Public Service represenation , yuh allowed to do yuh private practice, yuh have security of tenure, pension benefits, etc… so yuh much better off dan de people under de RHAs who workin’ on contracts… an’ yuh still expect to be paid de same salary?! 

Now to be honest, I doh understan how gov’t could not have sorted out de packages and benefits yet for RHA doctors after 7 years…!  Why de hell I mus’ move over? ….De extra pay is simply because dem job less secure…. 

Yuh cyah eat yuh cake an’ have it…but anyway dey gone on strike, de Minister say de strike is illegal, persons such as doctors and other essential services are not allowed to strike… dey could suffer legal action.. de doctors say doh threaten dem or hold ah gun to dey head…

De same people who have de nation health care system almost at ah standstill talkin’ about intimidation?! Monkey cyah see de length of he own tail in truth!  De government usin’ private nursing homes to take patients an’ open some parts of Mt. Hope medical facility t accommodate the patients…. Well Mt. Hope full now…! Pressure to bus’ pipe! 

An’ de solution so simple.. if yuh want action now.. tell de Public Service Association dat dis is de las’ time dey representing yuh, make de demands dat yuh want via de LEGAL body, sit in on meetings as you were invited to do and negotiate…but noooooo!  Now dey want to go to de Industrial Court to hear if dere were circumstances which force dey han’…. i.e. bad workin’ conditions, etc…..

But what I fin’ hard to believe…as ah human being, it doh matter to yuh dat people could die, sufferin’ for hours in an Emergency Centre, little chilren, etc.. an’ all yuh concern about is yuh benefits..? Dat is de only way yuh could make yuh demands known?  Yuh expect to get public sympathy, after they offer yuh ah chance to come an’ negotiate for yuhself…? 

De same situation wit’ Pan…I is ah doctor, so I could negotiate on behalf of doctors.. I trained in surgey but I is ah crack shot negotiator!  

If I had my way, ah put all ah dem in de pediatric ward…because dey really behavin’ like chilren! 

Yuh know how Trinis like to “fire one!” to celebrate, to take somet’ing to "kill de worms", to “keep warm in dis weather” or to “mix somet’ing for de cold”…well if yuh like to do dem t’ings
YUH MAY HAVE A DRINKIN' PROBLEM.....  especially if.....

Yuh wakin’ up by ah different house every morning…an’ yuh eh rich! 

De las’ time yuh was sober, yuh had on ah school uniform….!

People does stop smokin’ when dey see yuh coming! 

Yuh does get "Thank you" and “Christmas” cards from de Rum Distillery….! 

De doctor tell yuh dat glasses wouldn’t cure yuh blurred vision…!

Yuh mailin’ address is Sparky’s Rum Shop……! 

Yuh does admire people who does walk in ah straight line….!

Yuh does talk like yuh have ah lisp.. (Ocifer…ah notsh junk…!) 

Yuh never had ah hang over because yuh was never sober long enough…! 

Yuh hand shakin’ an’ yuh doh have Parkison’s…..!

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Dat’s all for dis weeks folks.. remember any queries, comments, questions, hail outs, etc… just write to we anchorman Cobra at ttcobra1@hotmail.com an’ we go get back to alyuh… Peace, ah gone…blessings…… Yuh fans want to shake up (Come wit’ it!)…Jam ah party song..(Come wit’ it!)…..We jus’ want to bogey woogey all night long…..! ….(background music… Stalin)